7th Heaven
There's No Place Like It

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Sara M: D+ | Grade It Now!
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For Stale By Owner

Lucy massages Kevin's shoulders as penance for being whiny. God, Kevin is an asshole. Roxanne barges in and apologizes to Lucy for saying all those things to her and not realizing that sometimes Lucy's crazy, so she cannot be held responsible for destroying her hair. That apology sucks, but Lucy accepts it. So everyone is still friends. Roxanne says she found out that Chandler isn't buying the house after all, so Lucy and Kevin should be able to buy it. While this isn't news to Lucy, it is to Kevin, so Roxanne leaves them to talk it over.

Kevin asks if Lucy wants to buy the house; Lucy says she actually doesn't, because she's realized that it doesn't matter where they live as long as they love each other. Also, Mr. Suds sold the house to the church. Apparently, the church decided to diversify its portfolio by investing in real estate. I didn't even know that churches had portfolios. Anyway, Mr. Suds sold his house to them for below market value in the hopes that this would get him into Heaven. I thought one of the reasons why Protestantism existed was to protest the Catholic Church's selling of indulgences, but I guess no one in Glenoak has studied medieval history. Also, I can't understand how this show can go from saying that a minister shouldn't own property to having churches buying houses in just one scene. It's really pretty amazing. Kevin says that they now somehow have an extra five hundred dollars, and they should go out tomorrow night. Five hundred dollars? That's a lot of sandwiches and movie tickets.

RevCam lets Annie do all the work as she carries a party platter into the living room. They find Chandler and Jeffrey asleep on their couch. "I think Jeffrey has found a home in Chandler," RevCam says. Oh, ew.

And now there's filler montage of everyone getting ready for bed. Happy appears to be ripping up one of RevCam's bathrobes. I think she's trying to make a statement about how maybe, if RevCam didn't blow his money on stupid stuff like that, he would have been able to buy the house. Martin tries his hand at home decorating by putting a picture of his favorite base house on the wall. Kevin and Lucy snuggle chastely on the couch. RevCam and Annie make out in the kitchen for like ten minutes. And I've gone blind, so I guess this recap's over.

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7th Heaven

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