7th Heaven
There's No Place Like It

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Sara M: D+ | Grade It Now!
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For Stale By Owner

In the CamKitchen, Lucy and SamVid are decorating cookies. Annie comes in and says that Mr. Suds is going to be really impressed with their cookies. The taller twin shocks me right off my new chair when he convincingly, and almost cutely, says he's a cookie monster. Then the short twin says the exact same thing but with none of the conviction and all of the speech impediments, and I remember why I hate the twins so much. Kevin enters and asks Lucy if she's trying to bribe Mr. Suds with cookies. Then RevCam comes in and tries to steal a cookie, only to have his hand swatted by Lucy. This would be a good time for RevCam to say that if Lucy's going to use his oven without paying his utility bill, then he can take whatever foodstuffs she makes in it. But he doesn't, because RevCam is a wimp.

In an unusual fit of slight generosity, Lucy announces that everyone may have one cookie, which leads RevCam to rightly suspect that Lucy wants something from in return. Lucy asks RevCam and Annie to come with her to see Mr. Suds, because their presence will somehow convince him that Lucy is capable of owning a home. The CamRents agree, until Lucy says that she doesn't want SamVid to come along. She doesn't think Mr. Suds will appreciate their company because he doesn't like retarded children. I mean, "small children."

Peter enters the house without knocking, and Ruthie runs to her mark to meet him. She asks her parents if they can go to the Promenade. Ew, her lime green shirt has a lace doily thing on the front that I didn't notice before. It's hideous! Annie tells Ruthie that she needs to watch SamVid while they go visit Mr. Suds. Ruthie snaps that Martin can do it. Annie snaps right on back that she will ask Martin since he's always helping out around the house, with all of the elbow grease and none of the attitude.

Peter and Ruthie walk into the living room, where Martin and Asslee are watching some television and not making out like any other couple their age would. Peter walks dorkily with his hands partially in his pockets and his arms swinging around. Asslee asks where they're headed, and Peter says they're going to the Promenade to "people-watch" and "maybe catch a movie, depending on what's playing and how crowded it is." Because he's eighty years old. Ruthie tells Martin he has to baby-sit. Martin says that's fine, and maybe he and Asslee can catch a movie later on. Ruthie convolutedly asks Martin not to take away the few joys she has in life by following her around. Then she grabs Peter and drags him out of the house before Martin can tell her that she really doesn't know the meaning of having few joys in life until her mom dies and her father gets stationed in Iraq. Shut up, Ruthie.

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7th Heaven

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