7th Heaven
There's No Place Like It

Episode Report Card
Sara M: D+ | Grade It Now!
For Stale By Owner

Asslee turns to Martin and asks what Ruthie's deal is. Martin says he thinks Ruthie's pissed at him for trying to get the Treehouse, even though he hasn't asked for it, since he considers himself lucky just to be able to live in the house. Asslee rasps that Ruthie was out of line and Martin should go tell on her. Martin says he won't, because that would be lame. Shut up, Asslee.

Chandler and Jeffrey continue to run extremely boring errands. Now they're off to pick up Jeffrey's grandmother's glasses. But first, Chandler has a surprise for Jeffrey. Jeffrey asks if it involves food, prompting Chandler to start yelling at him for eating too much. I don't think Chandler has a whole lot of room to talk, here. ["I'm thinking that doing three to five for aggravated assault is going to slim Chandler right down, though." -- Sars]

An arty rack focus that seems totally out of place in a crap show like this introduces us to the next scene, where Peter and Ruthie are walking down the street. Peter asks Ruthie what her problem with Martin is, and Ruthie explains that blah blah blah garage apartment stealer blah. Peter says that Ruthie's too young to live in an apartment, so Ruthie starts yelling at him that if he wants her support for his thing with his dad, then he better be on her side about the garage apartment. Then she glares at him with those black, soulless eyes of hers and frightens Peter into submission. Also, the doily thing on her shirt is actually in the shape of a heart. Ugh.

Someone splurged on the location shoot budget this week, as Lucy, Kevin, Annie, and RevCam are walking up to the Suds house. Here they meet Chandler and Jeffrey. "Comical" misunderstandings ensue until everyone finally figures out that Lucy and Kevin are competing with Chandler for the house. Oh, and Chandler offered five thousand dollars over the asking price, so Kevinezer Scrooge and his piddly five hundred dollars can go to hell, can't they? Lucy starts yelling, and Mr. Suds overhears and comes to the window. Lucy greets him sweetly and says she baked him some cookies. "I have diabetes!" Mr. Suds cranks, then slams his window shut. Mr. Suds rules! Lucy tells Chandler that she "has" to have this house because it's close to her parents' house and I guess there aren't any other houses in a twenty-mile radius. Chandler meanly points out that her parents don't have a house -- they live, rent-free, in a sweet mansion provided by the church, and that house could be taken away from them at any time. And if her dad ever left the church, he would have to leave the house as well. Except that I remember when he did leave the church for almost an entire season, and they didn't take away the house. So whatever.

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7th Heaven




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