7th Heaven
There's No Place Like It

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Sara M: D+ | Grade It Now!
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For Stale By Owner

A disgruntled waitress walks up and offers Julie and Vic more coffee. Vic asks her if she likes having customers like them. Waitress says it's a real fucking pleasure to have people seated at one of her tables for four hours who order nothing but constant refills of coffee. Six, to be exact. Wow, I'm surprised those two haven't launched right out of their seats with that much caffeine in their systems. Vic tells Waitress that both she and her coffee are bitter. Then he notices two dorky thirteen-year-olds spying on him from behind the fake bushes. He summons them to the table and introduces Peter to Julie, although no introductions are needed, since Julie's apparently met Peter before. Julie introduces Ruthie to Vic, who says that he and Ruthie go back "a long way." "My dad is Aunt Julie's brother," Ruthie says, even though everyone's obviously figured that out already. Shut up, Ruthie. The adults clear up that they are not dating, just having a post-AA-meeting meeting. Peter says he must have gotten his snooping habit from Ruthie, to which Ruthie gives him a sarcastic laugh and eye-roll that's probably the most convincing acting she's ever done. Although I have to imagine that Mackenzie Rosman has perfected that move after years of reading the lines she's supposed to say. Vic tells Peter that he needs to trust him. To not date married women? He leaves to take the kids home. Julie leaves the table, too. No one pays for the coffee; nor do they leave a tip. That waitress is going to hunt them down and kill them.

Martin and Asslee look at some of Martin's family photos. Asslee asks about a picture of a house, and Martin says it's his favorite of all the houses he's lived in. All the other kids on the base wanted to come over, but Martin's pretty sure it wasn't because he was popular. I'd say that's a safe bet. He thinks it was because his friends always wanted to hang out with his mom. Asslee asks Martin if it was difficult to have to move around all the time. Martin says it obviously was, but he learned that "it's not about the house; it's about the people in house." What is "it"?

Kevin paces along the Promenade until Roxanne walks up, sporting some major highlights. I guess this is supposed to be her ruined hair, but it really doesn't look that bad. And if Roxanne invested in a hairbrush, it would look even better. She thanks Kevin for meeting her, and asks what Lucy's deal is. Kevin says he's trying to stay away from Lucy. Roxanne says she just wanted to warn Kevin that she totally told Lucy off, and he can expect her to take it out on him. Kevin smirks and laughs as Roxanne tells him that his wife wanted her to whore herself out so she could get a house. Kevin says he loves Lucy "madly," but she's "insane" when she gets an idea in her head. And when she gets like that, Kevin prefers to get the hell outta there.

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7th Heaven

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