7th Heaven
There's No Place Like It

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Sara M: D+ | Grade It Now!
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For Stale By Owner

RevCam walks into the kitchen as Annie puts the finishing frosting touches on a chocolate cake. Uh oh. Annie and RevCam agree that they're disappointed about not being to buy the house, but they should be grateful that they've been able to live in that house for so long. But they aren't. "Evidently, we've been living way beyond our means for years without ever knowing it," RevCam says. I guess it never occurred to them that tiny pints of ice cream, individual bottled waters, and dinners for the entire damn neighborhood are not good ways to save money. Even though it occurred to anyone who's ever watched this show. Annie continues to waste money by overly frosting the cake while the two try to convince themselves that not having to pay for housing is a good thing. I wouldn't need much convincing to think that not having to pay for housing is a really good thing, but then, I'm not as ridiculously illogical as the CamRents.

RevCam leaves the room and runs into Ruthie on the stairs. She tells him that she saw his sister with her boyfriend's dad earlier. RevCam wonders if his name has ever come up. Ruthie says it probably has. Then she asks who's getting the garage apartment. RevCam says Martin might like it, and Ruthie goes off on how unfair that is and how Martin's not even a Camden. "Just because he has dreamy eyes and a killer softball curveball [long pause while Mackenzie Rosman attempts to remember her lines] that's gonna get him into the big leagues, doesn't mean he should get everything he wants," Ruthie whines. RevCam sits Ruthie down and tells her some lie about how Martin needs the garage apartment more than she does because he needs privacy for studying. And besides, Ruthie loves being around people, specifically spying on them. She won't be able to spy from the apartment. And then RevCam wouldn't be able to get valuable information out of her. This family is so screwed. Ruthie says she still wants the apartment. "Sorry," RevCam says, and leaves. Ha! Suck on it, Ruthie! Your adorable-child charm spell has finally worn off your family!

Lucy calls Chandler to tell him that she's decided not to go after the house. She was being selfish, and she's ashamed of herself. She credits Roxanne for helping her realize that. Both Chandler and Lucy are surprised that someone as morally bankrupt as that WHORE Roxanne would have had something positive to teach. Shut up, Lucy and Chandler. Chandler tells Lucy that he's decided to pass on the house, because Jeffrey hated it and Chandler hates Jeffrey. Chandler says that the only reason why he even wanted the house was that it was close to the CamRents, so he'd be able to solicit their advice when he needed child-raising tips or repairs. Okay, number one: Have any of these people ever heard of a car? And number two: Annie's home repair skills manifested themselves in the dubious achievement of the Treehouse, so I think Chandler might be better off without her. Chandler says he withdrew his offer on the house, causing Lucy to just hang up on him without saying goodbye.

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7th Heaven

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