RevCam answers the phone, since this entire freaking show revolves around phone conversations. It's Lou, and he'll have the house paperwork ready for Annie and RevCam to sign in two weeks. It turns out that Chandler is buying the house for RevCam and Annie. "Chandler is buying the house for us -- what are you talking about?" RevCam says. Lou hangs up on him. Ha!
Night has befallen the CamPound. Ruthie wanders into Martin's room. Now I see that the heart doily on her shirt is covered in glitter. Disgusting. Ruthie apologizes and tells Martin that he should make the room into his own. "When this was my room, I went through a serious Hello Kitty phase," she says. As did we all. Ruthie says if Martin "needs" a "sister" to help him "feel at home," she can do just that. Also, the t-shirt is not a t-shirt after all; it's a tank top, and one of its straps has fallen off Ruthie's shoulder, exposing her bra strap. Kill me. Martin manages to not run out of the room screaming at this generous offer, and says he doesn't want the garage apartment. Ruthie, her bra strap now thankfully covered, says she'll let everyone know. "I'm sure," Martin says.
RevCam and Annie are sitting around the home office. They smile at each other and hold hands across his desk. Then Chandler comes in. He says Jeffrey's waiting in the living room. Chandler asks if they called him over about the house he was trying to buy for them. RevCam says yes. Well, in that case, Chandler has a long, boring speech to make. Basically, he wants to buy the house because he really likes the CamRents and he has inheritance money to burn. And he thinks that the CamRents should receive as much as they've given others over the past eight years. RevCam rudely asks Chandler if he's finished, and tells him to park it, because it's his turn to make a speech and his delivery will be even more halting and filled with even faker emotion. RevCam says that he and Annie decided that they didn't want to buy the house, because RevCam finally remembered that he's a minister and he's supposed to talk about God once in a while. And God gave him the house for however long they'll have it, and he'll take it away when they shouldn't have it anymore. So…Lou is God? That's cool, I guess.
RevCam starts crying, and I wonder if Stephen Collins has it in his contract that he has to cry in every damn episode. Annie's eyes well up with tears also, and she grimaces hideously. She thanks Chandler for his attempt at generosity, and says that it helped them remember what's really important in life. "And that's a good place to be," Annie whispers. Chandler says he's disappointed now because he thought they invited him over to celebrate that he brought their house for them. A celebration that was to involve copious amounts of delicious, delicious food, Chandler thinks, his mouth watering. Annie says they can still celebrate. They can celebrate good friends. Well, that's gonna be a hell of a time.