In the hall, he passes an old lady who looks more like Norman Bates's interpretation of his mother than an actual old lady. She asks for "Reverend Hampton." "Oh, yes, she's right behind the camera, the one with a gun trained on me so that I deliver my lines with something resembling sincerity," RevCam answers. No, she meant Chandler Hampton, not Brenda Hampton. In that case, he's in the office.

Old lady hobbles in the office and gives Chandler a kindly hello. Then she starts beating the absolute shit out of him with her cane. He screams in pain. Oh, I'll just be watching that scene over and over again over here, thanks.

"Reverend Hampton."

"Uh huh?"

"Ah." THWACK THWACK THWACK!

"Oh, ow, ow! Stop, ow, you're hurting me!"

Rewind

"Ah." THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!"

"Oh, ow, ow! Stop, ow, you're hurting me!"

Rewind

"Ow, ow! Stop, ow, you're hurting me!"

Rewind

"-- you're hurting me!"

Ahhhhh. That was fun. Chandler asks the old lady for an introduction, because that's what people do when they're getting assaulted -- they ask the name of their attacker instead of calling the police. "Gertrude Fleming," the lady says, "I'm little Freddy Fleming's mother." Chandler realizes that she's talking about Mrs. Bink's Fred. Fred Fleming. Another abominable abuse of alliteration. Gertrude says she just found out about the wedding, and he has to stop it. Chandler doesn't understand, so Gertrude asks him if he's stupid or deaf. "Well, both, right now, because I was storing some sausages in my ears for my in-between, in-between breakfast and lunch snack," Chandler says. Gertrude thinks that Mrs. Bink is a cradle-robbing gold digger. Chandler says that's ridiculous. "Poppycock!" Gertrude says. "She is not good enough for my boy!" And then she puts a hand up to her mouth and fake-cries. You know, I live out in Los Angeles now, and I see unemployed actors all the time. There's no shortage of them that would necessitate hiring random people off the street, regardless of talent, as this show so obviously does. Chandler says that Fred is in his sixties, and probably old enough to make his own decisions. This gets him another threat of cane-violence, so he promises to look into it.