Up in her room, Lucy bitches to Ruthie that every last dress she owns is hideous. She doesn't have anything special to wear for her big date with Jeremy! Sob! Trying to be precocious, Ruthie says that all she needs to feel special is a clean pair of underwear. StuporMom, meanwhile, sneaks into the room with a surprise dress for Lucy. It's a red satin number that looks a lot like the one Lucy wore to the dance with Mike a few weeks ago. StuporMom makes a big production of how she went over the budget and cleared the dress purchase with the RevCam, like the good Stepford Wife she is. "It's so perfect!" Lucy gasps with glee. Ruthie says something uncute about underwear again, and leaves. Lucy is pleased because when it comes to Jeremy, she "like[s] him like [she] [hasn't] liked any other guy that [she's] ever gone out with." "I know. Hence the new dress," says Annie. The hell? Didn't Lucy just meet this guy? What does she do -- just sniff their pheromones and then run out to brand their initials on her hindquarters?

Robbie walks into the room he has on loan from Ruthie and tells Matt that he couldn't set up a date for him. Then he makes good excuses not to double date with any of the CamBrats. Then he leaves. Matt pissily mutters about being dateless for Valentine's, and picks up the phone. When John answers on the other end, Matt barks, "What are you doin' tonight?" "Hello, Matt," John lilts sarcastically. Matt again asks rudely about John's plans. "You kiss your mother with that mouth?" John pouts. "Someday, Matt Camden, I'm gonna decide that I've had just about enough of your attitude. You're not gonna be able to push this girl around any more! I'm gonna show you the hand, Mister Man. You think I'm not, but…" Actually, John tells Matt that he plans to spend the evening with Priscilla. Priscilla, overhearing this, says that Matt can come over. John is surprised. Priscilla calls Valentine's a "lame holiday invented by the card companies." So true. I'm not just saying that because no one sent me flowers, either. Priscilla goes on and on about the commerciality and the pressure. John grudgingly tells Matt to come on over.