7th Heaven
Virgin

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Virgin

SuperMom asks Ruthie if she told Julia to lie to her mother. Ruthie explains that she was keeping Julia from living the lie of being Ruthie's friend. Annie compliments Ruthie's self-esteem, wondering how she can not care whether people like her. Ruthie claims that she inherited it from SuperMom. Huh? Okay, this ought to be good. Ruthie explains that when Annie told Sasha's mother about Simon's virginity, she didn't care if Simon got mad at her. She also cites the shitty way Annie's been behaving toward RevCam. She tries to put a good spin on it, but it comes off sounding subversive, like she's actually making fun of...well, this entire show. My suspicions grow stronger when Ruthie tells Annie, "You go, girl!" before running off. On the other hand, given the rest of the story lines this week, I'm probably giving the writers too much credit.

Simon's in his room when the phone rings. It's some chick named Jane Carrington. To me she looks almost exactly like Lucy's "friend" -- you know, Serena's daughter -- but I'm feeling too shell-shocked from this terrible episode to rewind the tape and check. It's probably not her, though I could see the producers saving money on bit players by not hiring an extra actor for this part. Jane is asking Simon for a date because she doesn't want to be pressured into having sex, and she figures "Virgin Camden" fits the bill. Simon is in shock.

Dopey shows up on Cheryl's doorstep carrying what looks like a specially decorated one-pound box of Godiva chocolates. I wonder where he got the money. Aren't the Camdens always lamenting about being poor? I used to work at a Godiva Chocolatier, and the last time I checked -- which was about a decade ago -- the chocolates were up to twenty-four bucks a pound. Special decorations were another three bucks. Cheryl's peeved because Dopey did not meet her "one stipulation" of telling Robbie he was dating her. Matt claims that she had one more stipulation, which was that he treat her right. He thinks that buying her off with overpriced "Belgian" chocolates that are actually made in Pennsylvania satisfies that requirement. Sadly, Cheryl seems to think so, too, as she smiles indulgently and agrees to go out with him. Dopey tries to convince her that Robbie has already figured out the dating situation, and that he just doesn't want to talk about it because men don't like to talk about things like that. I'd ask my husband whether that's true, but since he flouted my orders and didn't quit his job, I'm not speaking to him and will be too busy throwing out his dinner to ask questions anyway. We don't have a garbage disposal, so I might have to ask him to follow me to the garbage chute of our apartment building so I can chuck his sandwich out there. It's not as dramatic, but you have to work with what you've got.

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7th Heaven

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