7th Heaven
Wayne's World

Episode Report Card
Sara M: C- | Grade It Now!
A Sphincter Says What?

Martin tracks down Ruthie in the school hallways and demands to know why she took the bus this morning. Ruthie says that Martin has been a "jerk" lately. Martin's feelings are all hurt, but Ruthie won't back down. She says that being tired is no excuse for Martin's crabbiness since everyone in her family is tired, yet they still manage to be pleasant. "Newsflash!" Martin says, "the rest of you aren't all that pleasant!" Go, Martin, go! "Truly, I can't take your attitude. Anymore," says Ruthie, who will be delivering the rest of her lines this week with lengthy and awkwardly placed pauses, so just get used to it. "You're not that much fun to be around either!" Martin yells to Ruthie's retreating form. Everyone in the hallway stares, all "nice comeback, chump."

Martin opens his locker and a history paper falls out. It has a D on it! That's a grade that most episodes of this show can only aspire to earn from TWoP readers, so I don't understand why Mac is so concerned when he sees it. Martin tells him that Ruthie just called him a jerk, and Mac is like "oh." Martin asks Mac when he's going to tell him that he is not, in fact, a jerk, and that Ruthie is the jerk here. Mac says that would be lying. "Lately, you've been a bit tense," Mac says, stopping just short of offering to smooth out all that tension with a relaxing back massage. Martin denies that he is tense, to which Mac points out that Martin got into a fight with the team mascot at their last game. He says he wishes he knew what was wrong with Martin, and that he knows it has nothing to do with Lucy keeping everyone awake.

Lucy paces around the bed. Kevin runs into the room and scoops her up and deposits her back in bed, lecturing her about not being allowed to get out of bed. Kevin starts talking about deducting whatever time she just spent on her feet from her total five-minute daily allowance, and then Lucy says that she would prefer not to be spoken to like a child even though that's exactly what she acts like. She calls her family "extremely annoying," and I have to wonder what the definition of "extremely annoying" is to her, since apparently keeping several people up all night long is not. Kevin says he got sent home for a few days, and Lucy tells him to go somewhere else because she does not want to see him all day long. Kevin asks if there's anything he can do to help her, but she just complains a lot. Kevin says that Annie talked to Lucy's school advisor earlier, and I didn't know Crawford Clown College had advisors, since I didn't think anyone on the faculty was actually capable of giving any advice besides "transfer. NOW." Kevin asks Lucy if there's anything wrong at school.

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7th Heaven




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