7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
Cate: C | 326 USERS: C+
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We Do

Fortunately, Lucy's increasingly weird behavior is interrupted by some thunder and lightning, which herald the arrival of Gabrielle. Why is she there? Because the Colonel and Grandma Ruth can't be arsed to show up for this blessed event, so they sent Gabrielle in their stead. Why would they do a thing like that? No clue. But Gabrielle's way cooler than anyone else in Glenoak, so I'm happy enough to welcome her, even when she starts insisting that she must do something to "help" the Camdens. The CamRents maintain that, aside from showing up for the wedding, there's nothing for Gabrielle to do. This causes her to glare intensely at Eric as she says that she's going to call the Colonel "and let him know." As she turns away to leave the church, the thunder rumbles ominously. If this is supposed to be symbolic somehow, I really don't get it, but it seems that all the Camdens do. Annie voices the hope that this won't be a "bad omen." Ruthie repeats the same sentiment for Simon. Then Lucy says it to Kevin. Did the twins write this dialogue, perhaps? If it is a bad omen, it probably just meant that this scene was going to end in a really annoying and pointless way. And sure enough, that part did come true.

Lo and behold, Barry Watson and Jessica Biel have found their way back into the credits again. I really don't understand why the producers expend so much energy on changing the credits every week. Shouldn't they be putting the effort into -- I don't know -- trying to make the show suck a little less?

They could start with the Opening Credits Timewaster, which has been a little weak lately. Is tonight's any exception? Not really. As Lucy listens to more thunder, she stares at her engagement ring for a while and then looks over at a framed picture of her hunky fiancé smiling winsomely into the camera. I keep expecting her to start making out with it, but alas, I wait in vain. Oh, dear. I don't want to alarm you, but I'm afraid this very special 150th episode was written by none other than Brenda Hampton.

That would explain the level of tedium permeating the next scene, in which Uncle Hank's car is stuck in some mud by the side of the road. Roxanne drives up in her cruiser, no partner in sight, and comments that they are experiencing a break in the rain. Right, or maybe Brenda's just too cheap to rent a rain machine. After all, I'm sure having Ed Begley as a guest star does not come cheap. Roxanne offers Hank a ride. They realize they've met before, at the CamPound. And that's the entire scene. I feel like even the really boring description I've just given you might mislead you into thinking that the scene was more exciting than it actually was. Watching car upholstery dry would have been more thrilling, and in fact, that's probably what Hank will be doing all day tomorrow, since he left his car window rolled down.

7th Heaven

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