7th Heaven
We Do

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We Do

Lo and behold, Barry Watson and Jessica Biel have found their way back into the credits again. I really don't understand why the producers expend so much energy on changing the credits every week. Shouldn't they be putting the effort into -- I don't know -- trying to make the show suck a little less?

They could start with the Opening Credits Timewaster, which has been a little weak lately. Is tonight's any exception? Not really. As Lucy listens to more thunder, she stares at her engagement ring for a while and then looks over at a framed picture of her hunky fiancé smiling winsomely into the camera. I keep expecting her to start making out with it, but alas, I wait in vain. Oh, dear. I don't want to alarm you, but I'm afraid this very special 150th episode was written by none other than Brenda Hampton.

That would explain the level of tedium permeating the next scene, in which Uncle Hank's car is stuck in some mud by the side of the road. Roxanne drives up in her cruiser, no partner in sight, and comments that they are experiencing a break in the rain. Right, or maybe Brenda's just too cheap to rent a rain machine. After all, I'm sure having Ed Begley as a guest star does not come cheap. Roxanne offers Hank a ride. They realize they've met before, at the CamPound. And that's the entire scene. I feel like even the really boring description I've just given you might mislead you into thinking that the scene was more exciting than it actually was. Watching car upholstery dry would have been more thrilling, and in fact, that's probably what Hank will be doing all day tomorrow, since he left his car window rolled down.

Lucy gets up to go talk to Kevin, who, for reasons unknown, is sleeping in the CamPound. She tells him she's nervous about tomorrow. He assumes she's referring to the wedding night, but as she coyly tells him, she "can't wait" for that part. I cover my ears and try singing to myself, but it's too late. What Lucy said has already registered in my brain, and now I'm scarred for life. It is pretty funny, though, when, Lucy's admission is followed by really loud thunder and some nasty lightning. Unfortunately, it doesn't hit the CamPound. Incidentally, does anyone know what happens to robots when they're hit by lightning? Do they have built-in surge protection? Actually, wouldn't the T-1000 function as a lightning rod?

Outside in the hallway, the rest of the CamDorks are bonding by listening in on Lucy's conversation with Kevin. The icky speculation on whether or not she'll call off the wedding is interrupted when they hear her giggling from inside Kevin's room. The CamRents look at each other with horror. Frankly, I find the idea of Lucy and her fiancé engaging in something physical the night before their wedding far less appalling than the rest of the family listening in on her private moments. Well, in theory, anyway -- I'm more than happy to leave the exact details blurry. What really has happened to make Lucy giggle is that apparently Kevin doesn't wear pajamas, and Lucy's just seen him naked. I'm not sure laughing at his CyborgSchlong is a very nice thing to do, but this is Lucy we're talking about. She prissily tells him to put something on while she steps "out into the hall." Boy, that sure is going to be one super-steamy wedding night, don't you think?

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7th Heaven

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