7th Heaven
We Do

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We Do

Simon still wants to discuss RevCam's return to the church. How this subject could possibly be keeping anyone awake at night really is beyond me. Simon actually cares whether Eric goes back to the church, and he even extracts a promise from his father that he will do so. You see, if Eric doesn't return to church, Simon will lose his faith in God. The hell? Nice emotional blackmail, Simon. RevCam pretends that this all makes sense somehow.

Moving right along, we find Chandler RevBong waiting for Roxanne at the hospital. I don't know what she's doing at the hospital, but I can't say I care enough to investigate any further. Chandler informs her that Ben and Mrs. Bo Derek Kinkirk got stranded in Vegas en route to Glenoak, and they need Chandler to drive there and pick them up. Wait a second. How could that be? Las Vegas is in a state that is not even recognized in the CamVerse. If RevBong tries to drive there, won't he fall off the edge of the world? We can hope so anyway, especially since he talks Roxanne into accompanying him. I'm still not sure why the Kinkirks can't take a bus or a train, but whatever.

Back at the CamPound, Ruthie, Annie, and Lucy are getting ready to go to sleep when Lucy starts singing a verse from "Get Me To The Church On Time." She glosses over a couple lines of it, though, and curiosity impels me to seek out the lyrics to the song. Instead of singing, "Pull out the stopper! Let's have a whopper!" she just sings some nonsense syllables. Shame on Brenda for missing out on a perfect Burger King product placement opportunity. As she snuggles under her covers, Lucy has a huge smile on her face. I want to be happy for her, but I just can't do it. Look what she's marrying.

Then again, she's looking kind of like an alien herself. Daylight finds her with a head full of some of the biggest rollers I've ever seen in my life. Don't tell me she's planning on doing her wedding hair herself. It's looks like she's doing her own manicure too. RevCam walks in and, instead of laughing openly at her hair, as Peeter and I did when we saw it, he gets one of those aggressively blank looks on his face that signals the onset of a flashback. This one is totally manufactured, as RevCam remembers a couple of actors playing Lucy as a baby and then as a toddler taking her first steps. He also remembers putting a Band-Aid on her elbow when she was a very young girl. Hey, where's the flashback to her first period? Anyway, it's sappy, but cute -- although it's sort of ruined by the goofy look Stephen Collins has on his face. I swear he's doing it on purpose. Eric explains that while the Glenoak airport is still closed, airports in some of the surrounding cities are open, so the wedding guests may arrive yet. Lucy has faith that they will be there. She gives RevCam the obligatory thanks for performing her wedding ceremony -- and for returning to the church, of course. RevCam tells her she doesn't have to marry the nasty old rust-bucket, and he then wonders if she's just doing it to trick him back into the church. Damn. How does Brenda even come up with an idea as stupid as that? I can't think about this scene any more or I'll go crazy.

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7th Heaven

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