Lucy's pacing The Treehouse. The phone rings, and Lucy starts yelling at it, because she's crazy. The machine picks up after one ring, and Mindy starts leaving a message about how she was wondering if Lucy could meet her for dinner even though Kevin has to work. Lucy grabs the phone and screams, "Wheredidyougetthisnumber?" Mindy's like, "Uh information?" She's also sitting on a bench on the Promenade, like, find somewhere new to hang out, Mindy.
Chandler and Peter eat pizza. Peter starts telling his sob story about how if anything happened to his mom, he'd be an orphan. Chandler looks at him. "What? I would," Peter snaps. Hey, Peter, maybe Chandler is thinking about how one of his parents is actually dead, and recently so, and maybe you should be a little more sensitive. Or perhaps he's mad at Peter for eating the last slice of his delicious, delicious pizza. Chandler stammers out that he hasn't talked to Paris about this yet, but how would Peter feel about them getting married "some time in the distant future?" Yes, becoming a father figure to a sad child is a great reason to get married, Chandler. It's right up there with losing your virginity. Peter grins and practically leaps over the table to give Chandler a big hug. Chandler tells Peter that he loves him. How healthy.
Kevin dials a bunch of numbers from his work phone, and gets busy signals at all of them. Some guy walks up and asks Kevin if he's "ready to roll." Kevin says he's ready to roll by his house. Guy says no, because Det. Michaels already warned him about Kevin's penchant for skipping out of work to kiss his wife on the forehead.
RevCam's in his home office, leaving a message on Sally's machine about Martin living at the CamPound. He accidentally says something about her underwear, then gets all flustered. He hangs up, only to see Asslee standing in the doorway, arms folded, looking pissed. I shall now copy her little speech verbatim, because it's so damn crazy that there's no way I could paraphrase it and still do it justice: "You know, I've known this family a lot longer than Martin's known this family: fifteen months and twenty days. But I don't guess you were keeping track. And I've been through a lot with the Camdens -- engagements, weddings, more weddings, car accidents, a baby on the way. And do I get invited to stay here? No, he gets invited to stay here. And I get dinner and a ride home, and not even a ride home, because I drove here. Do you have any idea how many people would like to be in this family. Do you?" At this point, RevCam regains the power of speech and reminds her that she has her own family, and her own house. Asslee says that they go out of town sometimes, and the Camdens never invite her to stay with them. Isn't she seventeen? Can't she live on her own for a few days? RevCam tells Asslee that she can stay with them the next time her parents go out of town. "Great. Well, that's more like it," says Asslee, and bobbles on out of the room. RevCam just stands there and thinks about the fact that he let a psycho take care of his young children. And when he finally found someone to replace her, she ended up being a psycho, too.