Simon and Nigel are hanging out in Simon's room. Simon, like the good little Camden he is, has let the guilt get to him. He says, "If we tell our parents we're investigating people who sell cigarettes to minors as a school project, they're never gonna let us keep doing it." I keep thinking that if the writers could learn not to chuck pathetically contrived plots at us, I might develop an ounce of respect for them. Come on! Even Three's Company would have been embarrassed to use material like this. The music gets all serious as Nigel asks Simon if he's "ever -- you know." It's called "smoking," Nigel. Don't make it sound like something kinky, okay? Simon and Ruthie apparently tried cigarettes once, in a show I was fortunate enough to have missed. Through a series of arguments I won't even dignify by typing, Nigel tries to get Simon to try smoking. I love Simple Simon's reply: "No, we can't. It's wrong!" ["Ironic, considering that 7th Heaven drives thousands of people around the country to start smoking each week." -- Sars]
RevCam pulls Ruthie's science experiment out of the fridge. I swear that little troll must live under the stairwell or something, because she's always around whenever someone touches her damn experiment. She convinces RevCam to give her a dollar and then gestures for him to move in closer so she can whisper to him. He argues that no one is around, but Ruthie says, "In this house? Get real!" She whispers to RevCam, and he claims to "love" her project. SuperMom comes in, and RevCam gives Ruthie another dollar to tell Annie the secret of the science experiment. Generally, I'm only so-so at predicting plot developments, but I already had Ruthie's stupid project figured out before she told Annie about it. And I'd like to be the first to tell her it blows. RevWacko hears one of the babies crying, so he offers to take the twins for a ride in the car to calm them down. Yes, it's another excuse to spy on his daughters. SuperMom starts to lecture him again on trust; RevCam says he's going to take a walk. Let's move on, shall we?
The Quartet of Dumb-Asses is down at "Flicks," waiting for the movie to begin. Mary and Robbie are making out enthusiastically, right in the middle of the theatre. Ugh. Why the producers think anyone would actually want to see Mary groping Robbie is something of a mystery to me. Rick and Lucy are sitting in front of the gropers, feeling uncomfortable. Rick tells Lucy she's not what he expected: "I thought a girl who builds houses was gonna be a big clunker -- carry a hammer or something." He rounds out this delightful compliment by adding, "If I knew girls like you worked for the Habitat Project, I'd build houses too." Lucy kind of loses my respect again, because instead of elbowing him in the groin, Lucy just thanks him politely for this dipshit "compliment." She spews some tripe about how she cut loose her last boyfriend because it was unfair that he liked her more than she liked him. Rick pretends this is charming. The lights go down, and Mary removes her jacket -- in preparation for even more strenuous groping, I presume. What's even weirder is that she chucks her jacket on top of Lucy. Rick and Lucy are rightfully disgusted and go outside to talk.