7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
Mr. Stupidhead: D | 310 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
With Honors

Downstairs in the kitchen, Annie packs the bong while Eric -- oh, wait, they're just sitting solemnly. Matt enters, and asks what's wrong. RevCam: "We'll tell you later." SuperMom then asks Matt about how his midterm went, and he tells them the whole story about CheaterBoy2K and how CB2K won't even get in trouble because his father is a big contributor to the school. "Could be worse," Matt continues. "According to the honor code I signed, Professor Valentine could have flunked me on the spot."

Up in the Dynamic Duo's room, Lucy is trying on clothes to wear to the "Fall Fling" dance. She apparently has nothing to wear. Ruthie overhears Lucy saying just that, and tells her that if she mows the lawn for Simon, she will get Mary to lend her her new sweater. Lucy: "What are you up to?" Mr. Stupidhead: " Do you really care?" Anyway, Lucy agrees, because "that sweater would look fabulous with my khaki miniskirt." Fabulous? Miniskirt? Yeah, Luce. You'll knock 'em dead with your outrageous attire. Not. Khaki miniskirt. Oh, yeah -- Ruthie, shut up.

Sergeant Michaels arrives downstairs with some information on Lee's father. Apparently, he was busted for possession a couple of years back. Now he and Lee live with Lee's grandmother, who holds two jobs to support them. Lee's mother, who forfeited custody of him when he was only five, pops up every once in a while at a methadone or rehab clinic. RevCam: "This is worse than I thought, let's go talk to the father. I'll get Lee." I gotta say, that really does suck for Lee.

Up in the master bedroom, Mary is scoping a pair of SuperMom's earrings. Ruthie comes in, and tells Mary that she can "get Mom to lend you those earrings for your awards ceremony." Mary: "What would I have to do in return?" Ruthie: "Lend Lucy your new sweater." "If I say 'yes,' will you leave me alone?" Mary asks. Word. Ruthie: "Yes." Woo hoo! "Well, then, yes. Lucy can borrow my sweater," Mary says. When will this end?

At the 7th Heaven version of the 90210 Peach Pit, Matt and Chickenhead bump into CheaterBoy, who acts belligerent when Matt approaches him. He cracks wise about RevCam, and Matt almost punches him. Fortunately, Chickenhead is there to tell Matt, "He's not worth it." Matt: "My dad taught me that if you have a problem, go to the source." Whatever. They're outta there and, thank God, so are we.

Back at the Camden house, Lucy is answering the phone. Once again, it's Mr. Wonderful. But this time he has a totally different agenda. Mr. Wonderful: "Quarter grades are out next week, and you can't get into Harvard with Cs in biology. So, I need access to the school's computers to change my grades, which, because of your new job in the attendance office, you can help me out. My mom is calling me, but can we talk about the details tomorrow?" Lucy: "But I --" Dial tone. You sure can pick 'em, Luce.

7th Heaven

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