7th Heaven
With Honors

Episode Report Card
Mr. Stupidhead: D | Grade It Now!
With Honors

Cut to Matt and Chickenhead in the library, studying for their American History midterm. Matt is reviewing the honor code, and Chickenhead says, "It's actually quite simple. Don't cheat, and if you see someone else cheat, turn them in." After this, James Potter comes up to the table and says, "Matt, I'm so glad I ran into you. I heard you tutor people for money." Matt: "The midterm is tomorrow." James: "I'm gonna fail." Matt finally agrees to tutor him, and James takes off. Chickenhead throws Matt a concerned look, and Matt says: "What?" Chickenhead: "He cheats." Oh, brother. I need to wash that revelation down with some opening credits. Well, lucky me -- here they are!

And we're back in the kitchen, where Annie is feeding the babies. Ruthie comes in and asks: "Can I have twenty-nine dollars and ninety-nine cents? I just have to have these walkie-talkies I saw on TV! I can call all my friends and they can call me!" SuperMom: "But if you just call your friends on the phone and pretend the phone is a walkie-talkie, it'll cost less. If you use 10-10-321!" Well, all except for that last part. Ruthie exasps, "Parents," and rolls her eyes. Mr. Stupidhead sets fire to yet another Mackenzie Rosman voodoo doll, to no avail.

Nice! We're at Junior High! Fond memories! NOT! Simon sees his friend Lee, and asks him if his dad is working with the FBI again tonight. Lee responds in the affirmative, and Simon invites him over for dinner. Simon: "You're dad works a lot, huh?" Lee: "Well, less than when he worked for NASA." Simon: "NASA!?" Mr. Stupidhead: "NASA!? Liar, liar, pants on fire!" Simon, oblivious to this kids deception, tells Lee that his dad is the shiznit. Simon, you annoy me. Me no like.

We cut to Glenoak High, where Mary is telling her friend Cory (the co-recipient of the Local Businessman's Senior All-Sports Award) that she has no idea what to write for her acceptance speech. Cory is baffled as well. Mary's friend -- whose name we never find out in this episode, so I'll call her, I dunno, "PooFace" -- rolls up with another girl, who shakes Cory's hand and says, "Hey, I'm Maggie. I just transferred over from Washington High. I guess I missed you at practice yesterday. You know, you look just like someone I knew at Lincoln Junior High." Cory: "I've never been to Lincoln. I'd better get going." As Cory leaves, Maggie eyes her suspiciously. Uh-oh! Not. Don't care. Next.

The RevPad. Ruthie is kissing RevCam's big white booty, because she still wants those STUPID walkie-talkies. RevCam: "I think you should get the walkie-talkies you want. But I also think you're old enough to earn the money yourself." Ruthie: "I hope you're not suggesting that allowance thing the other kids do." Shut up, Ruthie, you ungrateful turd. RevCam: "Well, you can take the trash out for three dollars a week. If you really want those walkie-talkies, that's the deal. Take it or leave it." Ruthie: "I'll leave it. There are easier ways to make money than by working." Oh, God. I have a terrible feeling that we're going to be seeing a bit more of Ruthie in this episode. Mr. Stupidhead no like that.

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7th Heaven




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