At the school attendance office, we see Lucy organizing envelopes when Mr. Wonderful walks in and says: "I need a hall pass. I'm late." Lucy: "Well, I need an excuse." Wonderbread: "What are my choices?" Lucy: "Well, how about sickness?" Mr. Big Man On Campus: "Sickness sounds good." Lucy: "Are you sick?" Mr. Blonde and Beautiful: "Not anymore." Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge. Not. This kid is way too smooth to be in high school. But he sure is dreamy!
In Mary's homeroom, PooFace bolts into the classroom and asks Mary if she has "heard the rumor? It's all over school." Oh, no. Please don't. "Cory Conway had a baby when she was fourteen!" Mary: "Cory? Had a baby?" PooFace: "Maggie, the new girl, said there was a Cory Conway who went to her Junior High, and that Cory got pregnant, and dropped out of school to have the baby." Mary: "You've known Maggie for one day and you believe her? Don't get so caught up in rumor fever, okay?" PooFace, as Cory enters behind her: "I think it's totally believable that Cory had a baby." Mr. Stupidhead: "D'oh!" (tm Homer J. Simpson). Cory books outta there, and Mary follows her. PooFace just sits and looks like the bloodthirsty gossip-hound she knows she is.
At the college library, Matt and CheaterBoy2000 are finishing up their study jam session. CB2K: "If I don't know this now, I never will. Thanks for your help." Matt: "I don't know why you're thanking me, I didn't really do anything." As he gives the fuzzy eyeball to a couple of sorority bims across the way, CB2K explains, "I know I have a little trouble focusing on schoolwork." At this, he whips out a large wad of twenties and hands it to Matt, who says: "I think you overpaid me." CB2K: "Maybe you could earn the extra money." Matt: "How?" CheaterBoy: "The only way I'm gonna pass is if someone else takes the test for me." Matt: "Are you asking me to cheat?" CheaterBoy2000: "I prefer 'assist.'" Matt looks troubled, but I'm sure he'll do the right thing.
Back at the house, RevCam is talking to Sergeant Michaels. RevCam: "Do you know a Jeff Patterson? He's a private investigator. His son, Lee, told us he works with the Glenoak Police Department. The Sarge: "The police have detectives for detective work. We don't hire outside help. But I do know a Jeff Patterson. He doesn't work with the police, but he has been arrested by them." Hmm. Seems that Lee was lying about his old man. I wonder why. Maybe a commercial for Three To Tango will help me figure it out. Not. It won't.