7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
admin: D | Grade It Now!

As faithful readers of the 7th Heaven recaps know, we are cursed. The latest proof is the fact that my VCR broke right after I taped the show for my last summary. (Well, yes, my son did put a toy into the tape slot. However, I'm convinced that he wouldn't have done so had the show not cursed us beforehand.) My spouse bought a new VCR and ended up installing it right when this episode was starting. So I missed the first few minutes. I will not be deterred, though. I'm going to hang some garlic over my bed tonight and finish recapping this show.

Cate told me what I missed. Thank you, Cate! I'm gonna buy you some corn husks or something to show my gratitude! Mary and Lucy sit in a church pew discussing the fact that Simon upset Mary in some way during their basketball game. Then RevCam starts his sermon by introducing his new parishioners, Bill and Sheila Carver and their kid Bobby. He embarrasses Bobby by making the family stand up. Everyone applauds and they sit down. Then RevCam awkwardly segues into some point about Genesis, and Bobby starts loudly repeating what he says, over and over again. No one knows what to make of it, so the credits start.

After the service, Sheila Carver tells Annie and Rev that her son has Attention Deficit Disorder. She peels out and RevCam immediately becomes a suspicious busybody.

Mary and Simon are snippy to one another.

Annie helps Matt do his laundry and asks how things are going with him and Chickenhead. ["How many outfits does this guy go through in a day? I mean, really, the guy is doing laundry every damn day." -- Sars] Matt says things are fine, but Annie can tell he's down.

(There. My spouse has fixed the VCR. I scream at him to get out of the way. I see that the VCR is recording and I run to the other room to watch Freaks and Geeks. My tape starts with this next bit.)

Annie asks Matt if it was she or Nietzsche who said, "Liar, liar, pants on fire." Um, whatever. Matt and his mom need to quit going to SuperCuts. The phone rings. Annie answers. It's Shana. Matt furiously shakes his head and mimes that he's not there. Annie refuses to lie for her son, so Matt grabs his laundry and runs away. Annie tells Shana she just missed him. Shana furrows her face in concern. Her hair is almost Hamill-esque, the way she has the sides swept back. She's wearing approximately one pound of taupe eye shadow on each lid.

In Ruthie's room, Lucy's asking Ruthie if she's sure the teacher actually called her stupid. Ruthie's sure. Happy is sad. Lucy tries to placate them by saying that maybe Ms. Riddle won't ever call Ruthie stupid again. I believe she calls her Ms. Riddle. Ruthie says that Ms. Bitch/Riddle says it every time she answers a question wrong. Lucy wants her to tell their mom. Ruthie refuses because she doesn't want Ms. Bitch to become angry and take it out on Ruthie. She makes Lucy promise not to tell. Then she tells her, "Teach me how not to let words hurt me." Aw, man. That actually touches my cold, dead heart. I'm interested to see how this turns out. Will Annie assume the form of a gargoyle late at night and fly to the teacher's house? That's what I imagine I'd do.

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7th Heaven




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