7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
Gwen: D | Grade It Now!

Simon walks into his dad's home office. RevCam asks him about Bobby Carver, the boy who was shouting stuff in church. Simon informs his dad that he's new at school and unpopular. The jocks make fun of him, calling him "the spazz man" because of his outbursts. RevCam reminds Simon that when a good man does nothing, evil's triumph is facilitated. Simon gets the message and takes off.

Lucy walks into her bedroom and finds Mary bending over and trying to scope out her own ass in the mirror. Lucy laughs, causing Mary to accuse her of spying. Lucy asks what she was doing. Mary was assessing her own butt because Simon called her "big butt" the night before. Lucy tells her to blow it off, but Mary's freaking. She wonders if The Amazing Robbie hasn't called because of her huge hindquarters. ["Robbie probably hasn't called because he saw your rebellious ass -- and I do mean 'saw,' and all of it -- in Gear this month. Just a thought." -- Sars] Lucy mercifully changes the subject, telling Mary about Ruthie's bitchy teacher. Mary tells Lucy that she must tell Mom. Lucy counters, telling Mary she should tattle on Simon for his big-butt comment. Mary suddenly becomes rational and tells her sister that Ms. Riddle calling Ruthie stupid is way more important than what Simon said.

I can't believe the plots are progressing so quickly. Maybe it's because I just drank a large cup of cocoa. From his apartment, Matt calls Shana and hangs up before she answers. She call-returns him and he lets the machine pick up. She says all this junk about him avoiding her. He still doesn't pick up. Fine, says she. She can't guarantee that when he's ready to talk, she'll be ready to listen. Well, that's okay, because if and when y'all are simultaneously ready, I still won't give a damn.

Annie's smiling at one of the cribs. Lucy walks into the nursery and starts to tell her mom about Ruthie's problem. Because there are too many people crammed into the house, Ruthie walks up, overhears Lucy, figures it all out, and runs to her room. She slams the door, too. Instead of postponing the revelation for several scenes like I was sure they would, Annie and Lucy cut to the chase. Annie is all, "She called her -- what??" I swear, the CamRents can't hear anything bad about their kids without saying "What?" or "Excuse me?" Get your fingers out of your noses and listen, people.

A parishioner named Louis shows up at the CamDoor to ask RevCam if "that boy in church is okay." Louise assumes that Bobby Carver has Tourette's. He'd bet his life on it because HE has Tourette's and he recognized Bobby's vocal tics as symptomatic. I've got to love the busybodiness of these people. RevCam tells him that Bobby's mother says that Bobby only has ADD. Do y'all smell an intervention coming up? Aren't you glad RevCam's around to do what the doctors can't?

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7th Heaven




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