7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
Gwen: D | Grade It Now!

Simon and Bobby are getting ready to bike home from school. Bobby warns Simple that he'll be picked on also if the two of them continue to hang. Simon is fly-ass S-Dog because he doesn't care what people say. Also, his bike has lowrider handlebars. Uh-oh. Here come Squinty and Friends. "Hey Camden -- you didn't think I was gonna let you off THAT easy, DID you?" They notice the fresh principal walking by with her trench draped over her shoulders. I kind of love the principal. Don't ask me why. Squint promises to beat the crap out of Simon the next morning when there aren't any teachers around. Bobby experiences facial tics. Squint includes him in the threat and then takes off.

At the lockers, Mary approaches the Ghirlandata. "Hi," says coy Mary. "I think we have Biology together." Ghirla gives Mary this x-ray-through-the-crap look and says, "What are you doing?" The make-up people have styled her hair unflatteringly and put purplish lipstick on her. If it wasn't for that, she could probably get a job at Mode. She's all cynical, asking if Mary's trying to distract her so she and her friends can pull some prank. Mary protests. "You hang around with Laurel and those velociraptors she calls friends, don't you?" asks Mode Chick. Mary admits she does sometimes, but . . . Mode Chick jumps on her case, talking about how her feelings are hurt when Laurel & Co. make their comments. Mary says she never joins in the fun-making. Redhead Chick says that Mary just stands around and watches, and that that's worse. Thanks for embodying the Rev's spirit, Redhead Chick. Mary puffs out her cheeks a little as Red walks away.

Bobby and Simon chat about Spyro (I think that's the name of the game they're advertising) on their way home. Bobby starts having vocal tics. Simon's trying to be cool about it. Finally Bobby gains control and explains that the episodes end more quickly if no one stares at him. He invites Simon to be nosy about his condition, then tells him he has "attention deficit something." He says his dad doesn't like to talk about it. Then he asks, in a frank way, why Simon's being so nice to him. "I'm not being that nice," says Simple Simon. "Trust me," says Bobby. "You're the nicest person I ever met." Dang. I like Bobby. He's like a very young John Schneider. (What? What, you pervs? Sheesh!) Anyway, I have to say that Simon seems like a decent enough friend when he's not narcing on people.

RevCam's in the kitchen feeding Happy. Annie walks in, and he asks how the meeting went. She answers with a spooky face. Then she tells him that Ruthie's teacher did call her stupid. Guess what RevCam says to that. That's right. He says, "What?" Annie tells him that Ms. Riddle called her stupid, too. They hug. She asks about his day and he says that no one called him stupid. Hello? What happened when the principal showed up? Or did Ms. Riddle just kick Annie out of the room? I guess we'll never know. I hate it when they do that. The doorbell rings and of course it's Sheila Carver on the step, unbeknownst to her husband, begging for RevCam's help. "Please help me," she says. "Help me, Rev Kenobi. You're my only hope!" She wants help helping her son and her family; she can't stand seeing Bobby suffer anymore. Annie smiles with fierce encouragement. I try again to get the alternate captions, because RevCam looks a little aroused to me. I wonder if he's thinking, "Yeah, I'm the man they all run to behind their husbands' backs!" But I can't find the special captions. I consider calling Cate and asking her what they say, but then I don't because I don't want her to know he likes her better than me. Thanks a LOT, RevCam. You don't want to show your true feelings to me. Fine. If you think, however, that I'm gonna spend my time competing with Cate for your affections, then you're WRONG. You are so totally wrong, Mister.

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7th Heaven




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