7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
Cate: C- | Grade It Now!

RevCam waltzes into the CamKitchen through the back door. Because he is a walking cliché, he's bringing Annie a bouquet of roses and a heart-shaped box of candy. But first he has to torture us for a while by dancing around with the roses, and singing tunelessly into the bouquet. Finally Annie stumbles into the kitchen, sporting a majorly frumpy look and a big-time attitude. For some reason, RevCam gets down on one knee to hand her the roses and chocolates. She looked annoyed with him before, but I'll bet this was the final straw. Annie says she doesn't feel like going out for their "big date." When RevCam tries to persuade her to change her mind, she tosses his flowers into the sink and rudely wanders off with the chocolates. Honestly, it's hard to feel for either of these unpleasant characters.

Oh, no! Ed Begley Jr. is going to be on this episode! I'm pleased to report, though, that at least Brenda Hampton didn't write the script. Some far-too-cheerful crappy tune plays in the background during the rest of the credits, as RevCam tries to work up the guts to go into the CamBoudoir and deal with Annie. I'm trying even harder to work up the nerve to deal with the unfortunate reappearance of Uncle Hank. Maybe the special theme of this week's show should have been "Courage." Or they could just call it like it is and name this episode "Boring Heap of Trash," since so far, all we've seen is an endless retread of the Camdens fighting because Annie is menopausal. RevCam is still trying to get her to have dinner and "conversation" with him. He's cancelled their dinner reservations and offered to make a nice meal for two, but Annie's still not receptive to his overtures. Looking extremely irritated with Eric, she puts down her chocolate box and storms into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. Never one to take a hint, RevCam calls out, "Dinner for two coming up."

Next, he pesters Ruthie and Happy for a bit. Ruthie's supposed to be writing a school essay about what she wants to do when she grows up. Ah, there's our first mention of tonight's "work" theme. RevCam suggests she think of things "[she's] talented at and make a list." Ruthie's assertion that "that's gonna be a long list" pretty much proves that math is not among her talents. It's safe to say that giving advice is another skill she doesn't possess, since she insists that RevCam should apologize to SuperMom, even though Eric says he has not wronged Annie in any way.

Back in the hallway, RevCam overhears Simon saying, "May I take your order, please?" He walks into Simon's room to pry into his business. I'd be more inclined to feel bad for Simon that RevCam just walked into his room without knocking, but since Simon's so damn rude to everyone these days, I can't be bothered. I howl with delight when Simon says, "Not that it's any of your business, but I'm practicing my people skills for work." Why, what could possibly make Simon think his people skills are not up to par? Of course, standing in front of a mirror while saying things like, "May I take your order, please?" is probably not going to help any, but if it amuses the viewers, some good comes out of it. RevCam goes off on a boring little speech about how his summer job as a camp counselor showed him how good he was at helping people, and how that eventually led him to the church. Simon just shrugs at Eric, his facial expression clearly saying, "Why the hell are you telling me this?" What is RevCam's point, anyway? Just this: "If the job isn't the right fit for you, maybe you need to find another job." Um, thanks, I think. Simon complains that his parents don't pay for enough stuff for him -- like, you know, the car that his fifteen-year-old ass so richly deserves. Right, my heart sure bleeds for you, Simon. After bitching about having to pay for things like bus fare, Simon stalks off. Eric just rolls his eyes and leaves to find someone else to beleaguer.

Lucy and Robbie suit his purpose nicely. They're laughing chummily, and getting ready to meet some of Robbie's friends at the movies. RevCam tries to lecture them on spending too much time together, but no one's taking his advice very seriously. I'm sure this is all leading up to a future story arc where Lucy and Robbie get it on (well, as much as anyone actually "gets it on" in Glenoak) and Mary freaks out over it. Yawn. You know, it's not too late to back out of that one, writers. I really think you should reconsider it. Maybe you could do more stories about Happy instead, or write an episode revolving around the backyard bird feeder. You could show each of the Camdens adding more birdseed to the feeder, but then just show the birds eating for the rest of the hour. And then all the birds could attack Uncle Hank at the end of the show, while a giant owl swoops down and carries off the neighbour's poodle. My husband's co-worker swears this happened to her neighbour's poodle, and really, it's no less believable than a man's co-workers stealing his prosthetic arm as a joke. Better yet, if it's a sweeps period, the owl could carry off Ruthie. Oh, but where was I? Lucy and Robbie leaving on their date. Right.

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7th Heaven




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