90210

Son Burn

Hello, Goodbye, Amen - Some (the stupid ones) open their arms to Sean, while others (Annie and Debbie) greet him with suspicion. It pays off for the latter group when the gold-digger hightails it out of town to avoid a paternity test. Also, Dixon and Silver have nothing to worry about from Dixon's cheerleader admirer… except maybe an invitation to join an all-girl softball league.

Family Circus

That Which We Destroy - Harry's bastard son arrives to shake things up. Dixon and Debbie fret over their roles in the new family dynamic, but Annie's too busy doing a piss-poor Naomi impression to embrace self-awareness. Naomi cozies up to a new set of backstabbing hussies and, in the process, finds herself in a sexy power play with Ozzy. Brenda rewards Kelly's earnest friendship by breaking her heart.

You Could Crush Mint on Those Abs

Games People Play - Annie's Sweet 16 gets nearly as dramatic as an episode of that MTV show -- but only because Naomi has to find another way to make the world revolve around her. Kimberly gets some work done in Matthews' absence, despite meddling from Kelly. In news you already knew, Navid's a virgin. And Harry's bastard son shows up for approximately five seconds.

Pillow Blight

Secrets and Lies - Harry drops the bomb about his lovechild. Annie and Ethan go on the DL. Naomi and Ozzy get some QT. Silver hasn't yet turned in her V card. And AAdrianna tries to make Navid a champagne room VIP.

Dance Dance Revolution

There's No Place Like Homecoming - The school dance inspires hijinks galore and a whole lotta making out as taboo couples merge, established couples strengthen, and unlikely alliances are formed.

This Isn't China, It's Beverly Hills!

Hollywood Forever - Adrianna's career gets a bump when she scores a movie role, then she scores a few bumps. Naomi indulges her savior complex on Adrianna, thanks to which she may have scored herself a one-way trip to juvie. And Annie and Ethan get thisclose to relevance, albeit in the most boringly predictable manner possible.

Fashion Victims

Model Behavior - Adrianna is, weirdly, the linchpin of this episode. In just 60 minutes, she manages to thwart an intervention, snag a B-movie audition, come clean to both Annie and Ty about last week's hijinks at last, and teeter dangerously close to a future as a crack whore. Also, goodbye for now, Kelly and Brenda! Come back soon!

The Big Bang Theory

Wide Awake and Dreaming - The Wilson parents bang their heads against the wall over whether to trust their nubile daughter, who, for her part, thinks she's ready to bang Ty (and Dixon and Silver get pretty close, too). Adrianna, on the other hand, presumably sells her bangs to support the drug habit that gets her ousted from the school play. And guess who her understudy is? (Don't mind that sound, it's just me banging my head against the wall.)

Drama Geeks

The Bubble - The show flirts with awesomeness when Lucille Bluth brings her trademark sass to the West Beverly stage… but ultimately settles for mediocrity as we zoom in on the boring beginnings and beginning-agains of various couplings.

Pinheads

Lucky Strike - The Wilsons just want to bowl, okay? If only the drunkards' and cheaters' and porn producers' children would just leave them alone! Elsewhere Kelly and Matthews embark upon the most boring relationship ever.

Spoilers and Spoiler Discussion: Enter the Vicious Circle

1-2: "The Jet Set" 2008.09.02

1-1: "We're Not in Kansas Anymore" 2008.09.02

1-3: "Lucky Strike" 2008.09.09

Kelly Taylor Redux: I Choose Me...and My Kid

90210 in the Media: We've Got Your Gossip Girl Right Here

1-4: "The Bubble" 2008.09.16

Brenda Walsh 2.0: Miss Me, Bitches?

1-7: "Hollywood Forever" 2008.10.07

1-5: "Wide Awake and Dreaming" 2008.09.23