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Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: C | 1392 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Whores & Phony Show
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously: RIP Jackie Taylor Silver. RIP Teddy's mom. Long live Jen's shamelessness in bilking her sister for every possible penny, now with more race horses! The Three Dudesketeers injected some life into Liam's percolating plan to destroy Jen. AAdrianna got fried, thanks to Kris Jr. Things boiled over at La Casa Nueva re: Annie's drug dealing boyfriend. All of which led to Navid being tossed down the stairs.

Navid wakes up in the hospital, completely unaware of what got him there -- aside from the intense pain, broken arm, and concussion. His parents, as well as Liam, Ivy, Dixon, Teddy, and Naomi are all there. All he wonders is where AAdrianna is, and Naomi has to remind him that they're not dating anymore. Cut to AAdrianna's bedroom. She wakes up God-knows-how-long after she passed out in a drug-riddled stupor. She hears all of Naomi's increasingly irritated messages about Silver's mom dying and Navid's accident. AAdrianna throws on clothes and rushes out of her room, throwing her pills in the trash behind her.

Back at the hospital, Naomi has an awkward elevator ride with Liam and a visibly threatened Ivy. Elsewhere, AAdrianna finally makes it to Navid's room to admit that she's been fucked up for weeks and that his accident was a downfall. She apologizes for reaming him out and denying she ever loved him. She says she's clean now and tells him he's the only person she's ever loved. He looks at her stone-faced, saying she was the first and only person he wanted to see when he woke up. Then he asks, "How could you?" and tells her to leave. She complies sadly.

Over at West Bev, Matthews reminds the students their Kierkegaard assignments are due tomorrow. The bell rings, and they trickle out. In comes Jen with a slew of vomit-inducing Catholic school fantasies. Thankfully, she cuts short before the money shot to invite him to a horse race she and Naomi will be attending. Matthews accepts with a kiss, only to be interrupted by Ivy, who forgot her book. Ivy runs outside to find Liam and gush that she's found the perfect opportunity to execute Operation: Justice for Jen. Bouncy credits.

Later that afternoon, Naomi consoles Silver after they left her mother's stranger-filled Shiva. Silver still hasn't adjusted to her mother's loss, both the concept and the day-to-day reality of it. She is further disheartened that AAdrianna was a no-show. Naomi has no sympathy for AAdrianna's relapse and consequent unreliability. The door knocks, and Naomi opens it to find a beautiful bouquet of flowers with a card from Teddy apologizing for not coming to the funeral. Naomi thinks it's strange he didn't show since she saw him at the hospital in a suit.

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