Previously: RIP Jackie Taylor Silver. RIP Teddy's mom. Long live Jen's shamelessness in bilking her sister for every possible penny, now with more race horses! The Three Dudesketeers injected some life into Liam's percolating plan to destroy Jen. AAdrianna got fried, thanks to Kris Jr. Things boiled over at La Casa Nueva re: Annie's drug dealing boyfriend. All of which led to Navid being tossed down the stairs.

Navid wakes up in the hospital, completely unaware of what got him there -- aside from the intense pain, broken arm, and concussion. His parents, as well as Liam, Ivy, Dixon, Teddy, and Naomi are all there. All he wonders is where AAdrianna is, and Naomi has to remind him that they're not dating anymore. Cut to AAdrianna's bedroom. She wakes up God-knows-how-long after she passed out in a drug-riddled stupor. She hears all of Naomi's increasingly irritated messages about Silver's mom dying and Navid's accident. AAdrianna throws on clothes and rushes out of her room, throwing her pills in the trash behind her.

Back at the hospital, Naomi has an awkward elevator ride with Liam and a visibly threatened Ivy. Elsewhere, AAdrianna finally makes it to Navid's room to admit that she's been fucked up for weeks and that his accident was a downfall. She apologizes for reaming him out and denying she ever loved him. She says she's clean now and tells him he's the only person she's ever loved. He looks at her stone-faced, saying she was the first and only person he wanted to see when he woke up. Then he asks, "How could you?" and tells her to leave. She complies sadly.

Over at West Bev, Matthews reminds the students their Kierkegaard assignments are due tomorrow. The bell rings, and they trickle out. In comes Jen with a slew of vomit-inducing Catholic school fantasies. Thankfully, she cuts short before the money shot to invite him to a horse race she and Naomi will be attending. Matthews accepts with a kiss, only to be interrupted by Ivy, who forgot her book. Ivy runs outside to find Liam and gush that she's found the perfect opportunity to execute Operation: Justice for Jen. Bouncy credits.

Later that afternoon, Naomi consoles Silver after they left her mother's stranger-filled Shiva. Silver still hasn't adjusted to her mother's loss, both the concept and the day-to-day reality of it. She is further disheartened that AAdrianna was a no-show. Naomi has no sympathy for AAdrianna's relapse and consequent unreliability. The door knocks, and Naomi opens it to find a beautiful bouquet of flowers with a card from Teddy apologizing for not coming to the funeral. Naomi thinks it's strange he didn't show since she saw him at the hospital in a suit.

Back at West Bev, Annie is nattering on about Harry finding Navid after his accident, making Kris Jr. increasingly uncomfortable. He asks if Navid remembers what happened to him, but she has no helpful information. He snaps at her. She thinks it's because she mentioned Harry, who has put her on Kris Jr. embargo. He excuses himself brusquely.

Later, Silver finds Teddy back on the rooftop where they first bonded over dead mothers and tennis balls. She asks him how he's doing, and he points out that he should be the one asking that question. He apologizes again for skipping the funeral, admitting that he couldn't even attend to his own mother's. He hurls his tennis racket, saying he's a coward. Silver assures him he's not and hugs him tightly. He apologizes again that he wasn't there for her. She tells him that he was -- and is. They look into each other's eyes, hesitantly come closer, then kiss. A bit desperately, a bit hopefully, mostly out of pure need to physically connect with someone who's gone through these emotions. They pull away and try to make sense of what just happened (as if everyone else in the world didn't see it a mile away). Silver gets all coy, saying that this kiss must mean that he's her boyfriend. Teddy's eyes bug out. He practically has to physically restrain himself from backing off the ledge of the roof. Then she laughs and says she was just kidding. Lead balloon.

The next morning, Kris Jr. sneaks up on AAdrianna to ask her if she's running low on her pharmaceuticals. She insists she's clean now. He asks about Navid. Wrapped up in her own world, AAdrianna says that Navid doesn't remember what happened. Before she can even snap back to reality, Kris Jr. is gone. He has headed out to the quad to slather some textbook post-emotional abuse love on Annie. He apologizes for snapping earlier, lying that it stemmed from the stressful situation with Harry. She tells him not to worry. They're the only ones that matter. They kiss quite openly and exchange sickening I Love Yous. Annie excuses herself to go to class. On the way she runs in to Harry, obviously, who tells her they're due for a serious talk after school. Word to the wise, Ado Annie: If your father, the principal of the high school, has forbidden you to see your boyfriend, maybe it's best not to dry hump him in the middle of the area where the entire school congregates.

Elsewhere, Ivy and Liam play pool and plot their Jen-ocide. Ivy asks Liam whether he's really in this because he still has feelings for Naomi. He angrily insists he doesn't, then biffs a shot. He regains his calm and apologizes, promising it's not about Naomi before kissing Ivy. Teddy walks in on them. They try to play it cool and say they're just hanging out, but Ivy's botched shots betray her. Liam tells him to keep it quiet.

Over at La Casa Nueva, Debbie and Harry marvel at Annie's balls-slash-incredible ineptitude at sneaking around. She snits that they can't control her at school, too. Au contraire, l'assassin du hobo, he's the damn principal! Debbie tells her she's grounded, so that's that. I think a nice, remote guys, convent and/or pair of fashionable cement boots would involve a lot less headaches and snotty backtalk. But that's just me.

Over at Silver's, she and Naomi have a fashion show of all of Jackie's crazy '80s outfits while listening to "Maneater" by Hall & Oates. A proper montage moment was totally missed here. Their merriment is abruptly interrupted when AAdrianna knocks on the door to apologize for being a terrible friend. Silver is obviously unprepared to give her the benefit of the doubt, and Naomi basically tells her not to let the door hit her on the way out. AAdrianna leaves to go home, where she flushes all her pills and looks at herself in the mirror so as to fully take in what disaster she's brought upon herself.

The next morning, Annie and Dixon exchange passive-aggressive barbs as they prepare their breakfasts. Debbie comes in all chipper and asks what their plans for the day are. Annie huffs that she has a study group at school but probably can't go since she's grounded. Debbie assures her study groups are well within the rules, so Annie responds with a sarcastic thank-you. Dixon is similarly aloof and petulant about his day. Debbie offers Annie a ride, and Annie grouses that her day keeps getting better and better. God, I hate teenagers. How was I ever one? Debbie plasters a smile on her face, taking in the full range of bitterness and irony that she chose to bring these fuckers into her life.

Debbie drops off Annie, who snaps that she'll find her own ride home. She waits about five seconds before turning that frown upside down as Kris Jr. drives up in the most unsubtle car ever. Apparently these nitwits have never heard of rearview mirrors. Or, as the quad scene would suggest, eyeballs! Sweet jeebus.

Horse race. Jen and Naomi arrive in their big hats and head to the stables. Jen spews praise at the poor, tied down horse. Then she forces Naomi to, and it's just as uncomfortable as you would suspect. Made only more uncomfortable when the jockey appears on the other side of the horse to sleaze things up a bit by ogling Naomi's rack and suggesting that all her comments about the horse being a "big, handsome boy... so muscular and well-endowed" were about him. Jen tells

1 2 3Next