AAdrianna carries on with her world tour of haggery. She invites all her "non-famous" friends for a thank-you lunch but can't be bothered to catch up with them because she's too busy Tweeting quips about herself. When she starts texting during a heart-to-heart about Navid's broken family, he loses it and tells her he's sickened by her unbelievable self-absorption. AAdrianna proves his point by being flabbergasted and enlisting Silver, of all people, to convince Navid to give her another chance. Silver dutifully attempts to do as much until Navid admits he is developing feelings for her. The words are still hanging in the air when AAdrianna sweeps Navid away for a surprise, romantic dinner date. She showers him with seductive kisses and promises to be a more attentive girlfriend, so Navid caves and sleeps with her. Though I'm guessing it's the last time.
Ivy continues to give her MILF the cold shoulder after the Ausscar debacle. MILF tracks down the Down Under Douche and tells him to make it right, so he explains how MILF ruined his life and apologizes earnestly to Ivy for ruining hers. He ends the night with Naomi, as they commiserate about how they're both horrible, traumatized people. She came to this conclusion after deciding to date again. After piggybacking onto Ivy's friend circle and lying to a hot surfer about being the new millennial Gidget, she succeeds in getting him to go out with her, then nearly fails at life -- literally -- when she's taken out by the first wave she comes across.
Debbie, with some urging from the kids, also decides to play the field. She posts a highly popular online profile and invites one of her cyber suitors on a date. He turns out to be a bore. She returns to the arms of Matthews, even though they both agreed that starting something up would be awkward on lots of levels. I, for one, can't wait to see Matthews lead the Wilson kids in a round of Christmas carols come Christmas morning.
In also-rans, Teddy realizes he has developed feelings for Ian after Silver -- feeling dejected about Navid -- throws herself at him. And Loony Laura explains to Liam that she started selling drugs to impress her street thug ex-boyfriend (whose name, of course, is Dax). They run into Dax, and Liam tries to make her feel better by posing as her boyfriend. Since no good deed goes unpunished, Dax and a friend jump Liam.
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Previously: Lots of secret sex between Ausscar, Ivy and Ivy's MILF; Teddy and Ian; Debbie and Matthews, and hopefully between Silver and Navid by the midseason cliffhanger.
Navid wakes up on Silver's couch. He apologizes for barging in to her place and complaining all night about his personal dramas. She says it's okay but teases him that he passed out mid-sentence. They're both glad that he came over. A split-second after Silver puts a tentative hand on Navid's leg, his phone rings. It's AAdrianna, yammering about her adventures at Voyeur the night before. She says she has the morning free and offers to meet him at his house. He quickly covers that he's out running errands and offers to come to her house. After he hangs up, he and Silver agree that it's easier and much less complicated to ignore the fact that he spent the night at her place. Most of all for them. He slurps down the coffee she made for him and departs, leaving her scratching her head with a pained look on her face -- and not just because her perplexingly butch coiffure has resurfaced.
West Bev. Teddy finds Ian in the quad to thank him for the late night rescue mission at the gay bar. Teddy tells Ian he's confused, adding by means of compensation that he's been with a lot of girls -- A LOT! Ian shrugs an okay. Teddy asks him not to tell anyone what happened between them. It seems kind of a moot point given how many opportunities Ian has already had, but whatever keeps that closet nice and cozy for you, ace.
Out in the parking lot, Matthews crosses paths with Debbie, who's dropping off Dixon's college applications. They bond over the terrifying, Walken-like guidance counselor, and Matthews offers to drop off Dixon's paperwork for Debbie. She starts to walk off, but he stops her. They agree that the other night was surprising, crazy and fun. They establish the many strains of awkwardness running through a potential relationship between them. Namely that Matthews is a teacher to the kids and a friend to Harry. Debbie suggests they should consider their dalliance a one-off, and Matthews reluctantly agrees.
Inside, Silver helps Ian hang posters for a luau that weekend. As they walk down the hall, they awkwardly run into Teddy. Silver gets angry all over again for what a bigoted bastard Teddy was during the bachelor auction and apologizes on his behalf. Ian assures her that Teddy's not actually a bad guy. Without giving too much away, he tells her they spoke, Teddy apologized, and they're cool. "I know that's not who he really is," he says longingly.
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