90210

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Lady Lola: C | Grade It Now!
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Hula Hell Do You Think You Are?

Beach. Naomi, Silver and AAdrianna lay out while Ivy practices for a surf competition that weekend and trudges on in her foolish attempt to make girlfriends. She does herself no favors by looking down on the girls for coming to the beach even though they don't swim or look at the ocean. The ladies can't be bothered to take offense because they're scoping out surfers. Naomi, in particular, thinks it's time to move on from her Cannon drama. A guy named Zach (a.k.a. Carter from Make It Or Break It, squee!) approaches and talks shop with Ivy. Naomi forcefully inserts herself in the conversation, pretending she knows all about the breakers in Cabo and Bali. She invites him to catch some waves, and they set a date for after the competition. After he leaves, Naomi asks Ivy if she can teach her to surf in a couple of days. "Oh yeah," snarks Ivy, "and water-ski and wind surf, too." The sass is totally lost on Naomi, who is watching the Zach Attack's ass in the distance.

La Casa Nueva. Annie and Dixon gravely tell Debbie they need to talk to her and ask her to take a seat. She looks at them seriously, as they tell her it's time for her to start dating again now that Harry's happily shacked up with another woman. Debbie agrees, so they launch into a tutorial on the dating profile they set up for her. They debate over pictures -- Dixon wants a sultry one in bed, and Debbie definitely nixes one in which she's eating a banana. She admits she's wary, and they promise to screen for sex predators. She agrees to humor them, as long as she can take it slow.

Beach Club. Sleazy Victor finds AAdrianna to tell her that her single is doing so well, the record company has tripled her advance. He tells her it's only the beginning. Credits.

That night, Liam escorts Loony Laura home from a drug run. She wants to hang out at some hotel that wraps foie gras with cotton candy. Liam says with disgust -- and not just because that nastiness belongs on This Is Why You're Fat -- that he'd rather hang out with his friends. She offers to invite his friends, then proposes they go to a movie. He tells her gruffly that he'll never be into her. Laura starts whimpering, so he apologizes for being harsh. She explains that she's still hung up on her ex-boyfriend, Dax. She describes him as beautiful and tortured, saying he grew up in foster homes and spent six months in juvie. "He's got Robert Downey Jr.'s soul and Zac Efron's body," she swoons. She tells Liam she started dealing drugs to prove to Dax that she's not your run-of-the-mill Bev Niner goody two-shoes. She starts blubbering again about what a loser she is, so Liam offers to get the gross cotton candy thing, but she's too far gone into the self-esteem abyss of teenage girlhood.

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90210

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