Ethan pulls a totally wuss move and doesn't die in the car accident. Laaaame! He apologizes to the other driver, who suffered a punctured lung like whoa. He learns that she goes to West Bev... and is in his French class. Awkward! Guilt drives him to get extra chummy with her, and she totally takes advantage by pretending to be weaker than is actually the case so Ethan Nightingale will show her the really good bedside manner. I'm putting my money on it -- they're so hooking up.
While Ethan gets his nursing certificate, Annie approaches Hot for Drama Teacher to find out why she didn't get Cleopatra, a.k.a. the part of destiny. Annie operates under the assumption that something as minor as a bad hair day was her downfall. Instead, HfDT tells her she's a crap actress. Nice. Surprisingly, Annie takes this criticism constructively. Nonetheless, in the light of recent events, her constant yammering wears thin on Ethan.
AAdrianna continues to capitalize on her expert timing and tells Ty about their gaywad crack baby in the middle of a crowded party. He freaks at first but is surprisingly cool after sleeping on it. Or so it would seem. In fact, he cedes all decisions to his pinch-faced mother. You see, the Collinses are totally loaded and immediately assume that AAdrianna is a money-grubbin' crack ho. PinchFace straight-up highjacks AAdrianna's fetus(!) vis-à-vis a legal contract that decrees AAdrianna will disappear to New Mexico, hand the baby Juno-style over to someone... well... less addicted to crack, then never speak of it again. Oh yeah, she also manages to spill the baby beans to DinaLite, which has the unexpected effect of bringing out the Mama Bear in the profligate mom. Ultimately, AAdrianna decides she can bear the cross of the Pariah for a few more months if it saves her from exile, so she stands up to Ty in the grandest way possible -- by announcing that she is pregnant -- to the entire student body!
Dixon and Navid are on "Mission: Pussy Posse" as they try to get over their respective exes. This consists of reading library books from 1957 about courtship, wearing horrible sweater vests, and insulting girls, um, seductively? Luckily Rah Rah emboldens them with her lesbionic lady-catchin' skillz. She also invites them to a party, where much to his -- and everyone else's -- surprise, Navid actually finds a girl as loser-y and ethnic as he is. Dixon's prowling is cut short, however, when Silver flies over the cuckoo's nest to crash the party. A scene ensues, wherein it comes to light that she does love Dixon. They reunite, which hopefully means he will be breaking up with his sweater vest collection. Fingers crossed!
Previously: AAdrianna got knocked up. Dixon's ego got knocked down a rung. And Ethan got knocked aside by Annie's ego... and a big ol' truck!
We open in the hospital, where Annie and the 'rents are frantically searching for Ethan. Miraculously, he appears -- completely unscathed. What?! He's not even injured. What an ass. Also, what is that shirt-under-sweater situation? He should seek some ambulance chaser-style damages from the stylist for that shiz. Annie latches onto him like a rag doll, which only causes him pain from his fake injuries. Oh, if the situation were only reversed, I'd say "Hug her like the rent's due tomorrow, Ethan!" Alas...
Harry and Debbie rejoice that Ethan didn't get hurt. Rhonda, the other person in the accident, didn't fare so well. Ethan says she's in surgery and shudders to think what he may have done. He asks if the Wilsons will wait with him, and they happily oblige. Side note: I read Lauren's post, and I am guessing this Rhonda is the transfer from Friday Night Lights. Ethan is totally going to fall in love with her. I can smell it a smile away.
Back at the cast party that started this whole mess, AAdrianna and Naomi burn holes through Ty with their laser stares. AAdrianna claims she's waiting for the right moment to spring the news on Ty, but Naomi informs her that that moment has long since past. Yeah, like when you got all jacked up on speedballs and let him stick it in you without protection. Naomi orders AAdrianna to stop eating like a hungry, hungry hippo. As I suspect she will do many times in weeks to come, AAdrianna claims she's eating for two.
Naomi redirects AAdrianna's attention to Ty, so she skulks over to talk to him. He is predictably smarmy -- probably because he knows what her Jewel of the Nile looks like. Without further ado, AAdrianna just lays it all out there. In the middle of a party. God, she has horrible timing. He is understandably shocked. She should have at least told him to sit down first. Isn't that customary for bad news? He says he thought she was on the pill, and she reminds him that she was on all sorts of pills then. He immediately jumps to abortion, and she reveals that it's too late for that. He sinks down to a couch. She mumbles something before walking away. Acting 101: You can't leave your scene partner hanging like that, AAdrianna! The specter of Brenda Walsh would not be pleased.