90210

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Lady Lola: B | Grade It Now!
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A Blueberry Brazilian Christmas
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously: AAdrianna lying and stealing nearly drove Navid to cheat. MILF's illicit affair with Ausscar drove a wedge between her and Ivy. Teddy stopped fighting his feelings for Ian. And Liam fought a losing battle with Loony Laura's thug ex.

Morning in the Bev Niner. AAdrianna has outdone herself in the a-hole department by picking up a yappy Chihuahua and some obnoxious "Don't look at me! Please look at me!" starlet sunglasses. A real estate agent is driving her up to a home that she claims is "so Sunset Boulevard." AAdrianna ditzes that she thought they were off Mulholland. The agent explains that Gloria Swanson used to live in the house, and AAdrianna realizes she's talking about the movie, which she can suddenly quote, even though she didn't recognize the iconic title just seconds before. Booooo, writers.

They drive up to the house, which is like Hercules picked up Notre Dame and dropped it right in the middle of Beverly Hills. Not sure why, but AAdrianna thinks this faux Gothic monstrosity it totally her and immediately says she wants it without even stepping inside. The ornate train wreck mélange continues inside, where a potted palm tree sits next to what appears to a baptismal font. The agent claims Rudolph Valentino once swung from the chandelier naked. Art Deco chairs surround the pool outside because, really, why attempt consistency at this point? As AAdrianna plans to throw a huge party in her new house, the agent blows one more plume of smoke up her ass before telling AAdrianna that the house is $20,000 a month and requires a six-month commitment. AAdrianna doesn't bat an eyelash, so Victor pipes up that AAdrianna should be a little more fiscally conservative since she only has one single out and doesn't know where the future will lead. She takes this as a sign of his doubt, calls him a wet blanket, and lashes out by cutting his commission in half so she can "afford" the house. So now he's making 2.5%. Yeah, that's really going to keep him loyal and totally not going to backfire, you dumb hussy. Good job. Now go buy some damn gargoyles for your ugly house.

West Bev. Navid runs into Silver and her latest tragic haircut. He playfully-slash-self-consciously asks her if his luau confession was awkward. She says it was. He admits he's really confused about whether he should be with AAdrianna, especially since his feelings are changing. She cuts him off, saying that she won't betray her friend and suggesting they take some space.

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90210

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