90210

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Lady Lola: A- | Grade It Now!
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This Isn't China, It's Beverly Hills!

...aaaaand cut to another bastard child of Harry's -- Annie! She's auditioning her little Kansan heart out. In another room, AAdrianna practices her lines... horribly. She realizes what her performance is missing: blow! She takes a bump and waits for the magic. Annie finishes, and the producer congratulates her, then has to tell her to leave. Whoops! Annie tries to be cordial with AAdrianna on the way out, but Too-Cool-AAde blows her off. The producer asks if our favorite junkie is ready, and AAdrianna says she's ready to "rock it!" Credits.

The next day Ethan and Annie work on their project at the Peach Pit. Naomi creeps up on them, and jokes that Ethan's already on a date when they just broke up a few days ago. Only, she doesn't realize how dangerously close to the truth she is. The perma donna persists in the delusion that she is adorable and effervescent. She reiterates that she has moved on, and Ethan can have "as many babies as he wants." It's almost a carbon copy of that scene in Friends when Monica tries to be breezy while leaving a message on her ex-boyfriend's machine. And the message is all, "Hi, Richard. It's Monica. I'm breezy!" Yeah, so this is like that... with worse acting. Naomi leaves to meet AAdrianna, and they practically wipe their foreheads in relief. Annie teases Ethan for his and Naomi's serial break-up-make-up record. Ethan vows that he's over the relationship for good this time.

Over at Kelly's house, Silver gives Dixon the grand tour. She winkingly tells Dixon she plans to paint one wall in the living room black because it's her favorite color. Hot. Dixon asks if she'll be scared to stay there alone. But Silver's got that covered. She crawls up on Dixon like she's Tawny Kitaen in a Whitesnake video. And what better segue to Dixon's observation that this will be a "serious party house"? She says she plans to charge admission. He asks if she'll charge him, too, and she says he'll work it off. Double hot. But first, she says, he should "kick off [his] shoes, relax, and prepare to do something [he's] never done before." Dixon betrays his virginity by starting to unbutton his shirt, but his penile hopes are thwarted when Silver pulls out a trio of horror movies and gives a devilish smile. Over which the composer strums a riff that's the bass guitar equivalent of "Wah, wah, wahhhhhhh."

At Casa Wilson, Harry walks in on Tabitha (yay!) and Debbie arguing about whether or not Tabitha flashed the gardener. Tabitha argues the she likes to swim naked and let her freak flag fly (exact words). Side note: If this whole show consisted of Tabitha, Navid, and Silver-and-Dixon (as an inseparable unit), I'd be thrilled. Maybe even throw in a splash of poor man's Efron for good measure... either way, I have no need for this Annie-Ethan-Naomi, Kelly-Matthews business.

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90210

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