90210

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Lady Lola: A- | Grade It Now!
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This Isn't China, It's Beverly Hills!

But I digress... Tabby leaves, and Harry breaks the news to Debbie that Crazy Eyes' plans to hunt down their lovechild. Debbie asks if he approved her plan. He says no, but she senses that he did it out of fear for her reaction. He admits he does want to know the child, then suggests writing a letter that the adoption agency can give to his son one day. Debbie agrees to that compromise, but I bet she would sign on for anything that didn't involve Harry playing "Private Dick" with Crazy Eyes. Harry gets a call and has to leave.

Naomi, meanwhile, visits AAdrianna's house. DinaLite graciously thanks Naomi for coming over, then undercuts her own kindness by critiquing Naomi's hair. Bitch. Naomi wisely lets that comment slide and asks where AAdrianna is. DinaLite says she must be celebrating because she got the part. Naomi says she's had trouble getting in touch with AAdrianna for their date, but DinaLite isn't the least bit concerned now that she the money for her next Botox fix. As Naomi frets, we cut to AAdrianna rockin' it in her dealer's car. Commercials.

That night, Dixon and Silver take part in their fright night -- and I'm not just talking about the first time Silver sees Dixon's you-know-what. Oh! But seriously... They watching House of 1,000 Corpses while Silver provides pretentious commentary. She blab-blab-blabs away for a while before realizing Dixon is asleep. That Philistine! She wakes him up, tells him it's 11:30, and he bolts.

Tabitha apprehends Dixon as he arrives home just past midnight. She pretends to reprimand him for a minute then adopts the mischievous tone we all know and love. Dixon hopes he can sneak in, but Tabitha tells him his parents know he's not home and that Debbie is freaking out. And speaking of... Debbie stomps down the hall toward them, gives him a big, scared hug, then dresses him down for missing curfew. Harry joins suit, and the scene is punctuated by Annie's wailing baby.

Tabitha tells Harry to relax and says he could have been doing worse, specifically something involving Laker Girls in Tijuana... Of course Annie comes up just in time to bask in Tabby's filthy wit. Debbie tells Annie to quiet the baby, but -- like the supremely responsible (and totally not self-absorbed) person she is -- Annie can't find it. As Dixon zings Annie's lack of parenting skills, Harry exercises some of his own, making Dixon promise he won't show up late without calling again.

Annie shows up with the whimpering animatroni-tot, and says she found it in the bathroom... in the corner... under her jeans. Debbie jumps (and I mean JUMPS) on the opportunity to reply, "Nobody puts Baby in the corner!" After nearly two decades of marriage, Harry knows enough to give her a courtesy laugh. Everybody else, through silence and icy gazes, lets her know that it is, in fact, she whose freak flag flies high tonight. And... scene.

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90210

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