90210

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Lady Lola: A- | Grade It Now!
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This Isn't China, It's Beverly Hills!

But I guess Naomi won't be needing one of those because her dad bailed her out. They enter her room, where Crazy Eyes displays her love and trust by tearing Naomi's room apart. Naomi insists she's not on drugs, but Crazy Eyes the divorce triggered Naomi's relapse. Naomi asks can make this mess go away. He might not be able to. He gives her one last chance to say something to change their mind. Naomi makes a pained expression and somber music plays.

Later, AAdrianna enters and apologizes for getting Naomi in this fix. Naomi updates her and begs AAdrianna to admit the drugs were hers. Because she's a junkie and has no perspective whatsoever, AAdrianna starts crying about losing her part in the shittiest horror movie not yet made. Naomi begs her to go to rehab, joking that it could be a good career move. Hey! It (arguably) worked so far this year for Lindsay Lohan, Mischa Barton, Kirsten Dunst, and Eva Mendes. Why not? Naomi says she had AAdrianna's back, now it's time to pay up. AAdrianna agrees, saying she needs a little time to explain things to her mom. She apologizes one more time and leaves. I don't believe that bitch for one second.

AAdrianna gets home, and her mom has bought a cake with a shooting star and red letters that scream, "This is it!" She says it's a good thing AAdrianna got the part because they were about to lose their house. OMG, this is ri-friggin'-diculous. I'm no Hollywood insider, but there is no way one B-movie salary would save them from their financial troubles. Then again, given her daughter's penchant for the drugs, maybe DinaLite has taken some, too, and is in the midst of a coke frenzy. She rambles that it's all uphill from here. AAdrianna suppresses back tears, as well as the confession that will save Naomi. Commercials.

Onto lighter times: Silver and Dixon's cemetery movie date! As they take pictures in front of her beloved Johnny Ramone statue, Dixon impresses Silver with factoids about the guitarist to whom the statue pays tribute. He earns major points by adding that he downloaded the band's songs since he knew she loved them. She rewards him with a kiss.

Elsewhere, Matthews helps his date out of the car and thanks her for turning his day around. They banter about the pitfalls of online dating (where they met), and we find out that she's an actress. From that you can infer the dime-a-dozen, beachy blonde, chunky bangs aesthetic she's working. Also, she's not the brightest bulb in the box and doesn't quite get Matthews' sardonic sense of humor. Also, she's the face of Herpes. Which is not to say that her face has Herpes, but rather she appeared in a national ad about the Herp. Matthews attempts another joke, and it goes all the way over head and makes a break for Laguna Beach.

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90210

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