Episode Report Card
Angel Cohn: C+ | Grade It Now!
I Like Boys Who Wear Abercrombie & Fitch
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously: Sleazeball manager caught AAdrianna stealing songs from a dead kid, Naomi's sister popped out her kid, Naomi was still dealing with Cannon being a rapist, Dixon thought he had AIDS, and Ivy ran off to hook up with Ausscar.

It's bright and early in Ivy's bedroom, and as the alarm goes off she realizes that she's naked in bed with Ausscar. She doesn't seem pleased about this. I can't say as I blame her. Even though I don't like her and her gross hair, no one deserves Ausscar. He's trying to beg her to stay in bed and skip school by being "charming"... or showing off his lack of clothing. That's a strategy, I suppose. Their banter is interrupted by a knock on her door by MILF. Now, those doors are frosted glass. Wouldn't you think that she could see shadows of more than one person in her daughter's room. Or hear another voice? Especially the familiar voice of the guy that she herself has been sleeping with? Anyway, she's oblivious and informs Ivy that Dixon is at their house and wants to talk to her.

Dixon wants to explain his position, but Ivy says that she gets that he's still into Sasha and doesn't want details of his sexy affair with an older woman. Again, I really dislike Ivy, but I can't say as I blame her here. Dixon says that he's not into Sasha, reveals that he thought he was HIV-positive for a hot minute and panicked. He's all apologetic, Ivy gets a look of horror on her face as she realizes that she slept with Ausscar and her actual boyfriend is still an option. Then Ausscar walks out all smug-looking, Ivy says she needs to think about things and shuffles them off. Then MILF walks in and tells Ausscar about this thing called privacy, since she'd like to see her daughter happy. She says that her relationship with Ivy is the only thing she's ever done right, which Ausscar takes as an opening to hit on her.

In the hallowed halls of West Beverly, Mr. Matthews tries to get Naomi to look at a picture of her new nephew, but she's not interested in anything Jen-related. Well, until she sees the photo of Jack/Jacques. Wouldn't Facebook, or a text message have been easier?

Liam is walking all broody down the stairs when he's accosted by Laura. She's the girl who won him at the bachelor auction, and thinks he's her for-real boyfriend. She wants him to go to concerts, but he basically tells her to bug off, until he sees Annie. Then he feeds into Laura's obsessive fantasies some more. She's so ridiculously peppy that she thinks his hot-and-cold act is sexy.

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