Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B | 1 USERS: A+
Undie Ruse

Over at the police station, Matthews promises to do anything Naomi needs to help her rape case against Cannon. The lady police officer has to break it to them that Matthews' drunken testimony isn't exactly the silver bullet this case needs. It's still a case of "he said, she said." Naomi sulks at her dismal prospects, but Matthews promises to stick by her side and points out to the hall -- where Annie, Silver, and AAdrianna are standing -- to remind her that she has many people in her corner. Naomi decides to press charges. Credits.

We rejoin the action at West Bev, where Naomi is engaged in a Mexican stand-off with a nonplussed secretary over whether Naomi's recent absences can be deemed "excused" or not. Naomi pulls out her full arsenal of threats and condescension -- including pulling out a pen that she claims is "worth more than" the secretary's car -- to avoid explaining her absences. All the while, Ausscar is watching with piqued interest from a distance. Eventually, Matthews breezes in and informs the secretary that Naomi's absences are indeed excused. The Perma Donna huffs out, stopping only to hiss at Ausscar, "What the Hell are you staring at?" "A vision," he lilts back. She rolls her eyes and leaves, and the secretary can't resist deadpanning, "What. A bitch." Ausscar agrees dreamily, fully bewitched, bothered, and bewildered by Naomi's haggery.

Out in the hall, Navid approaches the girl at the locker to ask why she suddenly turned cold toward him. She gives him the most specifically vague answer ever, insisting that they both know why they can't and won't befriend one another. She stamps off, leaving Navid as perplexed as ever.

Outside, Teddy finds Silver, who I am sad-glad to report has returned to her "drag king auditioning for a boy band" coiffure (shout out to Travis for that astute characterization!). Teddy apologizes, declares his love, and begs Silver for a chance to make things right. He wants to accompany her to the Achievement Awards. She spits, "Why? Is Parker busy?" then thinks better of it. Parker isn't really the problem, Teddy is. She tells Teddy to move on because they won't be getting back together.

Inside, Navid has a hilariously awkward conversation with some Goth girl who insists that her piece on "Secret Piercings" should run, despite its graphic content. All the while, he's holding a piece of paper over a monitor to imply just how graphic this piece is. The Goth girl doesn't seem to get it, so Navid finally has to break down and say they can't show genitals, and just saying the word makes him adorably uncomfortable. The girl eventually gives up and leaves in frustration, chanting that Navid should "Fight the system!" Navid's phone rings -- it's AAdrianna, and he thanks her for interrupting a back-and-forth that could have gone on forever. He promises to tell her all about it that night, but she has called to bail on him since some studio time came free. He's okay with it, as long as she's free of Victor's grip. She breaks the news that she's still working with Victor, claiming that Victor is good for her career. Navid tries to tell her that she can achieve success on the right terms, even if her song-thieving ways come to light. She admits she's too scared and too close to breaking into the big time, so it's not a risk she's willing to take. Navid can't take her fame whoring anymore and makes an excuse about a Blaze deadline so he can hang up.

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