Back at The Undies, Ian and Annie hand out the award for Worst Attendance. As anyone with as hackneyed a sense of humor as these writers might have hoped, the recipient is... not in attendance. Hardy har. Back over in Moper's Corners, Teddy watches as Liam trails behind Loony Laura with two armfuls of handbags. He doesn't believe people will buy them at a party, but she's already sold several. She grabs one bag of purses and tells Liam to keep a watchful eye on several others. Teddy teases him about his role as purse handler, and he sulks with all the range you might expect from someone who scored the role of an Edward Cullen knock-off in Vampires Suck. Annie breaks up their conversation when she announces Liam has won the "Least School Spirit" award. He oafs up to the stage with his purses to petulantly snatch up his Undie.
Back at the Achievement Awards, they finally announce the coveted Leadership Award, and it goes to... Harper the Harpy! Navid's parents tell him he should be honored just to have gotten this far, and his gracious loss shows that he wasn't raised by someone like Mr. Horrible Harpy. Harper's predictably self-satisfied acceptance speech only reinforces this point.
Meanwhile, Naomi and Ausscar are looking up every variation on the words "Cannon," "Dagenham," "Essex," "Chester School," and whatever else they can think of. Ausscar suggests she be a little more specific so he can narrow down the search. She reluctantly tells him to search for "teacher, sex offender, Dagenham." With that, they instantly find a story about a teacher suspended on rape allegations. Naomi clicks on the link to find a picture of Cannon, only the name under the picture is Douglas Atherton.
Achievement Awards. Navid walks by as Harper harps on about making the perfect college from a hybrid of Harvard, Yale, and Stanford. Naturally it would be called Harper College. Silver and Navid decide they're ready to head over to The Undies. As they walk out, the principal approaches Navid to ask why he pulled himself out of the running for the Leadership Award. He does the gentlemanly thing, saying Harper deserved it more. He bids goodbye to the principal, and Silver asks for his true feelings. He sticks to his story, saying Harper has done a lot for the school, but Silver knows he mainly felt bad about the pressure from Harper's father. Navid says he has a lot going for him and doesn't need more. Silver tells him he's a good guy, and he shrugs it off. She pushes the point, saying he's "seriously good." Navid playfully teases her for winning the English award and using improper English. Methinks there may be sparks flying between these two in the coming months.