Previously: Teddy was outed. Emily outfoxed Annie. Naomi flipped out over her feelings for a nerd. And Navid kicked AAdrianna's ass out the door... but not before she found out he was cheating on her and set a plan for vengeance.
West Bev. Naomi and dweeby-sexy Max peer into microscopes in the science lab. Within seconds, Max calls Naomi an "amazing specimen," and you know it must be a dream. Naomi leans coyly, and they slowly drift toward one another. Max takes off his glasses and sets them on the counter behind him as they start furiously making out. Naomi is so hungry for it, that she ends up pushing him back onto the counter and crushing his glasses. That crunch signals to her that something is wrong. "Nothing's wrong," Max says as he puts on the broken specs. "In fact, it's as right as a 90-degree angle." Even as he speaks, his face takes on an off-putting affect not unlike OG sexy nerd, Lewis Skolnick. Props to Josh Zuckerman for the physicality. And while I'm handing out kudos, let's have one for the music supervisors, who underscored this scene with the throbbing beats of "E.T." by Katy Perry, which simultaneously brings the sexy and features a nerd component. At any rate, Naomi wakes up from her nightmare and lets out a moan of both horror and titillation.
Now on to the real West Bev, where Dixon and Liam are playing pool and casting their biopics. Dixon criticizes Liam's pick to be played by James Dean on the grounds that James Dean is dead. Liam thinks 56-year-old Denzel Washington isn't any better a choice for Dixon to have made. Once Liam insults Dixon's pool skills, they get into it physically. Navid breaks up the tussle by telling them about an upcoming girls' volleyball championship he has to cover for one of the Blaze writers who has fallen ill. As they yuk it up about all the bobbing boobs they'll be ogling that weekend, Teddy comes in and asks what's up. The guys clam up because, clearly, now that Teddy's a big ol' gay, he'd never want to go to some icky event that's all girls. Sheesh. As the bell rings, Teddy notices the weirdness. He heads off and is sad when they don't even say goodbye.
Meanwhile, Naomi meets up with the school guidance counselor, a.k.a. Not Kelly Taylor. Naomi apologizes for being late, saying she couldn't sleep and praises Jeebus for hemorrhoid cream. When Not Kelly returns a baffled expression, Naomi explains that the cream reduces the puffiness. She can't believe that Not Kelly wouldn't know this trick since it is her job to guide students. Seems Naomi has a different idea of what guidance entails. In any case, Not Kelly called the meeting to talk about college. Naomi says she can't wait to be rid of the nerds in high school. Not Kelly tells her that being smart and well-read is actually an admirable, appealing trait for collegians. This puzzles Naomi. Not Kelly gets to the real point of the meeting: Naomi was wait-listed at CU. She thinks that this is good news since Naomi wasn't flat-out rejected, but Naomi is disheartened that her improved SAT scores and involvement in the Blaze filming segments with headlines like "Is Fat Contagious?" wasn't enough to get her accepted. Not Kelly gives her a sympathetic cock of the head and gives Naomi the wait list letter.