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Lady Lola: C | Grade It Now!
Knives to the Neck, Knives in the Back

He heads back home and tells Annie what happened. He wonders why she's making up an air mattress, and she reminds him that cousin Emily is arriving today for the next five months. Says Dixon, "Maybe she's less annoying than she used to be?" Seconds later, in comes their cuz a-squeakin' and a-squealin'. Guess not.

Downtown, AAdrianna runs lines for her TV interview, debating which sounds better (a.k.a. worse) "horrible" or "horrifying." The publicist snappily corrects AAdrianna when she calls her concocted disorder PSTD, and advises her not to cry on camera. The hostess pops in and gives AAdrianna's publicist a huge hug. She greets AAdrianna warmly and tells her to relax. AAdrianna lets her guard down a little. Bad idea, sister. She gives Navid a quick peck before she walks out. He waits a couple beats, then calls Silver and leaves a message that he should be able to go through with the break-up as soon as AAdrianna is out of the woods.

Back at the Wilson homestead, Cousin Emily is squeeing all over a star map as she notices that Katy Perry and Ben Affleck, are, like, totally neighbors! Annie tries to sneak out, but gets caught in Emily's sights. She asks, "Did you know that you live less than half a mile away from Julia Roberts' brother Eric Roberts, father of Emma Roberts?!" Annie feigns enthusiasm and tries to escape to "return a shirt." No such luck because Debbie -- who is no doubt as annoyed with Emily as everyone else -- motions for Annie to let Emily tag along to see if, indeed, the salespeople on Rodeo Drive are as bitchy as they were in Pretty Woman.

Meanwhile, Cannon wakes Naomi and Silver up with a knife in the face. Naomi makes an excuse that she needs to fix her makeup. Cannon assumes it's because she's such a raging slut, but she claims it's so no one will notice that her face is stained with tears and mascara. He allows it, and she goes to her makeup table. He leans in and breathes down her neck as makes snide jabs about "the tools of feminine deception" before she grabs a can of hairspray and gets him right in the eye. As he backs up blindly, Silver grabs a candlestick to wallop him over the head. And he's down for the count!

Beach club. Annie brings in Emily with a handful of bags that unfortunately still don't obscure her matching pink sweatshirt and visor ensemble. The only thing she's missing is a fanny pack and a camera around her neck. Annie tells Emily for the millionth time that it was not Lauren Conrad they saw on Rodeo Drive when Emily is distracted by a hunky guy that she insists must be a celebrity. Before Annie can tell her it's just Liam, Emily has already whipped out the camera phone and taken a candid. Liam walks up, so Annie introduces them. Awkward silence.

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