This episode was all about some high drama, mercifully of the actual plot kind rather than the school-play kind. But, before I get to it, where the Hell were Tabby and Navid? Throw a girl a sassy, shaggy bone, y'all!

So, in A-game, Dixon and Silver are shagging like the horniest bunnies you've ever met. Even Thumper's parents are, like, "Whoa!" She again waxes poetic about the meaningfulness of hackneyed music, but this time it comes in handy, as Matthews is covering poetry. Aspirant Oscar winner Silver opts to direct a film for an assignment. She doesn't exactly tell him, but the flick will star none other than Dixon, who is, at this point -- if we're being honest -- pretty much only putting up the loon because she puts out. Anycrazybitch, Silver is so impressed with her own brilliance that she decides to rent out a theater to screen her maiden voyage in directing, Silver-zen Kane. Come screening time, Silver's homage to Maya Deren quickly takes a turn for the Jack Horner as Dixon realizes that Silver snuck a camera into one of their crotch-slapping sessions. He walks out. Silver follows. Conflict ensues. Silver makes serious crazy face. Cue ritualistic-slash-sacrificial burning of Silver-zen Kane. Yeah, that'll convince him you're not a wackadoo! Also not convincing anyone of Silver's sanity is her decision to break into Matthews' house and accuse him of setting an elaborate trap to destroy her magical, tattoo-inspiring forniconnection with Dixon. Methinks there was some crazy ink in that tattoo.

Ethan and Annie are teetering on the brink of a split as he flagrantly ignores her. He makes a comment about trying to remember the real her, which she takes as a sign she should quit the school play. Music to my ears! Not so much Harry and Debbie. Ethan realizes he's being an ass and asks Rhonda to be "just friends," despite their Valentine's Dance kiss. The pushy bitch turns him down flat. Impressive, considering her supposed social pariah status. Ethan's attempt to set things right comes a stroke too late, though, as AAdrianna and her baby brain accidentally reveal the aforementioned smooch to Annie. Annie hurls her rage at Rhonda, who tells Annie to take it up with her mans. Annie thinks this gives her a pass to leave a hate-filled message on Ethan's phone then very maturely string along a denim-on-denim-wearing theater geek. That's low, girl. Ethan finds Annie and DoD in mid-cuddle and ultimately lays it down that he doesn't want a girlfriend at this time in his life -- especially not some hag without any manipulation skillz. Naomi was far better suited in this department.

And speaking of, Naomi has a total boner for Liam. She swoops in on the chance to tutor him in math, perhaps hoping to channel and one-up Angela Chase with a combined math review and boiler room session. Hawt. Naomi -- no math whiz, you'll be shocked to know -- feebly attempts this foolhardy scheme to get in his pants, at which point Liam reveals that he can bring the sex and the hypotenuse. She doesn't get to ride Liam just yet, but she does get a ride in his car, wherein she learns he is an anti-social savantian drag racer. A little too Fast and Furious for my taste, but still undeniably hot. He's also wildly protective of non-girlfriend Naomi when some other grease monkey tries to hit on her. Christian Bale hot. They conclude their wild ride with a passionate kiss. Maybe Naomi will get that ride after all.

Discuss this episode in our forums, then see which era of 90210 vloggers Val and Beth think is less realistic in TV is the Answer!