90210

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Lady Lola: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Fashion Victims

Previously on 9021-zzzzzzzzzzzzzz: Adrianna's growing fondness for the nose candy got her booted from the school play and pushed Annie into the spotlight. Adrianna's new-found free time came in handy as she set the ultimate double cross -- simultaneously making both Annie and her new boyfriend(-ish) Ty think the other was cheating -- on the very same night Ty was supposed to take Annie's virginity, no less. Crackhead, 1; Annie, 0. Also, tensions are rising between Kelly and Brenda. Just like old times... In honor of that, I've put on my palazzo pants, warmed up with some "Motown Philly," and tucked into a sixer of Zima. Let's do this.

It's the morning after the storm in PrinciPAL Harry's office. He grills Adrianna about her apparent intoxication before the play. Dreaming of Lohan status, Adrianna does her own take on "Those weren't my pants," and claims she took cough syrup to soothe her throat. Aaaah! Cindy McCain's taken over my TV! Oh no, it's just Adrianna's Dina Lohan Lite mother. DinaLite backs her daughter up, adding that she has hit the (cough syrup) bottle since she was in the Miss Sunburst Beauty Pageant at age six.

Neither Harry's Good Cop nor Brenda's Bad Cop seems to work, so Kelly mentions Adrianna's absenteeism of late. Adrianna starts into her "I have to go on auditions to support my mother" rant, as usual, so Matthews suggests that Adrianna cut back on the auditions. Because her meds depend on it, DinaLite counters that the school should cut back on her workload. Who are these people? "My daughter can't work, she's got a party to plan!" -- "My daughter can't come to class, she's got an international film career to build!" These are children. Albeit poorly dressed ones.

Brenda placates both divas by saying Adrianna's talent will make her successful regardless, but for now she should lighten her load. And then... ohhhh shit, Adrianna takes a swipe at Brenda, saying she doesn't want to end up like her, performing in a crappy regional theater troupe and directing school plays in her spare time. She and DinaLite smirk. That is, until Harry warns her that this amnesty is one-day-only; the next time they think she's on drugs, she'll be expelled. Adrianna looks intimidated, but DinaLite preserves her righteous indignation and ends the conversation like the tried-and-true Beverly Hills stage mother she is, threatening litigation and storming out.

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90210

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