90210

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Lady Lola: B- | Grade It Now!
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Love-Hate Relationships

AAdrianna lies on her bed surrounded by chocolate wrappers (which, btw, sounds like a kick-ass way to spend any night). She hears a knock on the door, and who is it? Navid! Oh God, he has on red pants, too! Avert your eyes, kids. Just listen? He leads with, "You are such a mess, Ade," which is almost as suave as "I'm really uncool." She looks at him askance but lets him continue. He lays out all the reasons why her life is a shit show, then says that, despite all these things, he doesn't care. He sits on her bed and says that he expected this night to be perfect, but it wasn't. "Why?" she asks. He replies wistfully, "Because I wasn't with you." Oh, mawkish dialogue! You get me every time! AAdrianna smiles, and Navid asks her to be his Valentine. In the end, she gets the unexpected romantic gesture she wanted deep down in her heart but was too ashamed to admit. They kiss. Maybe she'll even pull a Silver on him. It would be convenient for both of them, really. I heard pregnant ladies get really frisky.

At West Bev, it's another day, another kiss as Silver mauls Dixon in the quad. Dixon tries repeatedly to leave for class, but he can't hold off her thrusting tongue. He finally gives in and grabs her hips to pull her in closer. She winces and admits she's a little sore. But it's not what you're thinking -- it's even more batshit crazy! She got Dixon's name tattooed on her hip bone. Honestly, I have nothing to say to that. Nor does Dixon, really. Props to him for keeping his eyes in their sockets, though, because that shit is, like, "Whoa." What the hell, Silver?

Inside, Ethan stands at his locker. Overt symbolism alert! On one side, he sees Rhonda the Temptress. On the other side, Annie. For now he makes no choice, just exchanges awkward glances with them both and walks away silently.

Elsewhere, Harry interrupts Naomi's math class to introduce a new student -- none other than bartender Liam. Naomi shoots a baffled expression at him, and he curtly taps his binder on her desk as he walks by. Class starts, and she looks back at him all, "Say what?" He explains that he is actually a high schooler. Unfortunately her champagne-a-gram tipped his parents off that he wasn't in school. So now he is. And he's pissed. By my estimation, this makes him just about as devious and faux-liberated as Naomi is. I predict lots of angry sex in the near future.

What was old is new again. But which is better? You decide with our 90210: Old Vs. New gallery.

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90210

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