It's Spring Break in the Bev Niner, and everyone leaves town, stat, minus the Taylor-Silver-Martin trio -- kind of like Crosby, Stills and Nash... but with more moxie. In that regard, we open to find Kelly hovering like a hummingbird over still-recuperating Silver. This overprotective pestering might, in fact, be making Silver even crazier than before. There is a slight break in the monotony when Donna unexpectedly returns from her fabulous life o' fashion in Japan -- though from the very start, it seems like there are some cracks in her perfect life... more on that later. While out to lunch, Kelly and Donna meet everyone's favorite former-stripper-turned-Oscar winner Diablo Cody, who immediately hires Donna to design a dress for her to wear on the red carpet. Donna causes a bit of tension when she finds out that Diablo Cody is Silver's hero and invites li'l Crazy Pants to assist her in styling. Kelly puts the kibosh on that plan, so Donna smoothes things out by telling a fitting Japanese parable. And by bringing Diablo Cody to Kelly's house for some PJ party goodness. Flush from her success, Donna toys with the idea of opening an L.A. boutique. But the yin to Donna's yang comes when she finally admits to Kelly that she and David are separated. Yes, I know that's Chinese. Shut it.
Over in the Godforsaken wilderness, Matthews leads a team of misfits -- including Ethan, Liam and Naomi -- on a Habitat for Humanity trip. As you can guess, Naomi is there solely to weasel her way into Liam's life-slash-pants. She nonsensically thinks Ethan will be a boon in this pursuit. Liam spends his time being too cool for school and correcting Naomi's grammar. Of course, the minute she gets pissy and aloof with him, he decides it's time for some woods sex. Boys. While Liam goes to score peyote, Naomi proves that she can be an insufferable twit even in the throes of afterglow. Ethan, who doesn't appreciate the amount of hammering involved in house building, decides to expand his life consciousness with some of Liam's peyote. They have a semi-HoYay! heart-to-heart in the woods, wherein Ethan admits he's tired of always stepping aside to make others happy. Liam eventually admits that he was just screwing with Ethan (mescaline not included!), and Ethan feels like a schmo for his bromantical catharsis. To make up for being a jerk, Liam brings some of the skeletons in his own closet. It seems Silver's not the only crazy bitch in town! And I'm not talkin' Diablo Cody.
Annie and Dixon decide to road-trip it to Arizona, though the official story is that they're at Tabby's hideaway in Palm Springs. Little does Annie know, they're actually en route to Dixon's birth mother, with whom he was inspired to reunite after Silver's fits o' crazy. They get to Arizona, and Dixon chokes, so Annie must go to talk to her for Dixon. She expresses his long-held regret for choosing to live with another family other than her cracked-out self. Mama Dixon is amazingly cool with it -- 12 steps'll do that for ya -- and she and Annie also share some tender moments as Annie updates her on Dixon's life with the Wilsons.
And relegated to F-plot, Harry decides he and Debbie are due for lots of sex during their week without kids. Unfortunately, his libido is somewhat quashed when he visits Debbie's photography studio and finds it filled with nude male models. That's a whole 'nother kind of tender moment.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!
We open without any fanfare on a rather contemplative (or drugged)-looking Silver. Dixon updates her on Spring Break plans: New carpet in West Bev's library, woohoo! Also, some big party on some West Bev kid's yacht in the Greek Isles. But this isn't Gossip Girl with all of its fancy budget and elaborate party scenes, so I doubt we'll be seeing that shindig. Someone who is joining in on this party -- or crashing it rather -- is Kelly. She cuts Dixon off and offers some tasty, low-sugar cookies. Wouldn't want Silver getting all keyed up on Splenda!
Silver tries to continue the yacht party conversation, but Kelly is breathing down Silver's neck in an effort to avoid another Mad Love scenario. She reminds Dixon that Silver shouldn't be overly stimulated now that she has been diagnosed with bipolar. Dixon obliges, asking Silver what's new. Silver's new no-polar days read a little something like this: meds, Kelly, homework, Kelly, therapist, soothing book, Kelly, journaling, soothing music, sleep, nightmares about Kelly (okay, I added that last one). Dixon tries to see the silver lining, saying structure could be a good thing, but that comment only reminds Kelly that visiting hours are over. Kelly leaves to give them some privacy to say goodbye. Silver tells Dixon to head out of town and enjoy his Spring Break without guilt. He promises to call her later. "Not after eight!" chirps Kelly. So much for privacy. Side note: Silver is looking radiant this episode. Either Jessica Stroup ate a sandwich, or the crazy becomes her. TBD.
The next day, West Bev. Dixon starts the countdown to Spring Break, but Annie is totally non-plussed. She was supposed to spend her vacation doing sickeningly lovey-dovey things with Ethan. Obviously now that's off. Like Annie needs another (though slightly more valid) reason to feel pity for herself. Ugh. Dixon suggests a brother-sister road trip. I pity that fool for willingly locking himself in a car with this snot rag. He claims that they haven't gotten enough one-on-one time since moving to L.A., but it's obvious that there's an ulterior motive. She asks where they should go, and he quickly (too quickly) suggests Arizona, home of adventure and water parks. Annie points out that Harry and Debbie won't abide by their youngsters taking an unsupervised six-hour road trip. Dixon's got that covered -- they'll just tell them they're going to Tabby's Palm Springs hideaway. Annie's in. Homegirl never learns.
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