OMG, y'all. Post-prom shenanigans! It's like the writers suddenly realized they had 46 minutes left and thought, "Oh yeah, we have jobs. Work now?" Everything you could ever imagine happening? It happens -- and a windfall of other insane plot developments to boot. Making out? Boot camp? Hit and run? Now this is what I signed up for…

The primary action takes place at Naomi's after-prom party -- the one that she's barely attends because she's labor coaching AAdrianna. Sister Grifter amps up the bitch factor by about 300%, using information Liam told Naomi privately (and, thus, Naomi told her most trusted SG) to stick it to Naomi for… what again? Paying for their entire house? And all the stuff in it? And her couture prom dress? And eventually her Parisian divorce? Or perhaps just having a backbone for five seconds and deciding to use the aforementioned house she paid for to have a party. Naomi arrives in the third act, just in time to find Liam zipping up his pants post-coitus with SG, who's conveniently not in the random. While Naomi is assuming like there's no tomorrow, SG unravels her entire plan to "take [Naomi] down a peg." By fucking her boyfriend? What did Naomi do when she was with Ethan? Three strikes and this hag is out. And I have a feeling there are many secrets still buried in that there festering cooter. Yes, the same one that Naomi ends her episode crying into. Ew.

So, before Naomi arrives to assume that Annie is a low-budget bitch, Little Miss Perfect spends the entire night cleaning up after everyone. It would almost make me love her if she weren't such a twat about it. Homegirl does do a mitzvah when she drives puke-covered Faux-ria Swanson home. It only serves to bite her in the ass, though, when she returns from designated driving and finds herself smack in the middle of Naomi's firestorm of wrath. The bitching-out becomes a public confrontation, in which everyone turns on that fink Kansan Annie. Someone even throws a drink at her! It's all very Can't Buy Me Love on New Year's Eve plus Carrie minus the fire. Long story short, Annie phones the po-po to rat out the party before snagging her own personal bottle of vodka and bolting out of there. That last part was where the bad high school judgment comes in, as Annie plows the fuck into an early morning jogger and is all, "Shit! Vodka! Scram!" Well, to be fair, I did have you all cross your fingers for an unexpected death. I guess I should have been more specific.

In other news, Dixon is still sour grapes about Silver's anti-prom, anti-high school speech. Ethan -- he with the massive crush on Silver -- has to remind Dixon of all the reasons why Silver is wonderful and spunky (though, frankly, I could use some reminding, too). Dixon seems placated, leaving Ethan alone to get all scary stalker on a prom picture of Silver he purloined. However, because Dixon is being a jagoff, Silver, too, has to seek out encouragement to stay in the relationship. Ethan helps her out, despite the developing feelings that he is unable to hide. So much so that Dixon notices the super-duper-creepy love-staring and confronts Ethan. The two fellas have a crush-frontation, and Dixon forces Ethan to admit his feelings for Silver… to Silver. What exactly was the point of that again? Ohhhhhh, but then she follows him after he flees. And they kiss. And it's about 100x more passionate than any kiss she ever shared with Dixon. Ethan asks the typical "Why are you out here with me, instead of in there with him?" question, and she appears to give it some serious thought. Catholic school changes a girl, yo.

Meanwhile, AAdrianna pops out the crack baby in the world's quickest delivery. Cleopatra-slash-Brenda makes a cameo to reveal that Jim Walsh is dying! (Not James Eckhouse!) But wait! It's not actually Brenda, just a drugged-out hallucination by AAdrianna. I'm still not sure what happened there… but somehow it helps AAdrianna come to terms with the imminent adoption of her little girl (it's a girl!). Real Brenda does actually show up to offer her support as AAdrianna struggles to let go of her new daughter. She even reveals that she was in China to adopt her own little one, which helps AAdrianna live out her Juno arc. Bonus points: Ty and his split lip visit the hospital to congratulate Navid and give him all due respect.

File under 'Zany': Debbie and Harry's night quickly devolves into Pineapple Express-style high jinks after they inadvertently snarf down a pot brownie from the West Bev-sanctioned after-prom party's sundae bar. It's actually the best chemistry they've had all season. Who knew pot brownies were the key to making Harry and Debbie interesting? More pot brownies! Amidst all this, "paranoid" Debbie spots Kelly's out-of-the-blue crush on Debbie -- again, writers, I implore you not to explore that plotline -- and Stoned Debbie confronts Kelly. It's pretty awkward. She won't remember it in the morning. And I will have forgotten it even sooner.

Oh yeah, Liam! Lest we forget about the little scamp, he is in the middle of leaving Naomi a remorseful message when he is scooped up by boot camp enforcers, packed up, and shipped off. And just when he was showing initiative -- like going to prom! And sketching portraits of Annie! And shtupping his girlfriend's sister! He was really turning around! Pffffft. Don't drop the soap, Li.