Only three episodes into the new season, Teddy takes his rightful position at front and center. Rightly, it's the most boring episode yet. He invites everyone to a party on his movie star dad's yacht. Naturally this gesture only serves to deepen divisions between the denizens of the Bev Niner instead of erasing them.
For example, Navid -- God bless him -- has decided he will never beat Teddy, so he might as well join him. He spends the episode buddying up to the rakish Mr. Montgomery, who spews out a highly dubious story about falling on the sword for his scholarship-dependent Exeter roommate all the while actively, and manipulatively I might add, putting the moves on AAdrianna. AAdrianna rebuffs Teddy's advances this time, but her resolve is weakening. Navid is none the wiser.
Dixon carries on with Booty Quest 2009 by deciding the best way to win the girl of his dreams is to be anyone other than himself. So, using Navid's dad's Lamborghini as a prop, he convinces an unwitting DJ that he is a hot shot music executive. And, frankly, if she believes such a ridiculous improvisation, then she deserves what's coming to her. Conveniencidentally, her very next gig after meeting Dixon is Teddy's yacht party. Dixon spends the entire time hitting on her in plain eyesight of Silver, thus making Silver feel like crap as well as ending up with a new girl who may be just as crazy as his tattooed ex was.
Annie finally gives up on finding redemption and settles for wreaking as much havoc as possible. And how? First, she teams up with Date Rape Mark, trading ambiguous (though, it's safe to assume, sexual) favors with DRM to alienate Naomi from her friends by making it clear that Naomi maliciously sent out the sext to all of West Bev. Then she ropes Liam into a fake confession in which she insists that she and Liam were in fact having sex regularly and also mocking Naomi all the while. Bitchtastic!
Finally, seeds of discontent are sown between Harry and Debbie as Kelly gets more involved in the Wilson family affairs.
Previously: Sexting! Manslaughter! High school betrayal! And other truly inconsequential crimes.
West Bev. Harry gives Dixon the third degree for clocking Date Rape Mark. Dixon finally gives it up (just like Annie... bah-dum-bum) that he assaulted another student for taking a naked picture of his sister. Harry's all, "Dismissed."
Elsewhere, Dixon runs into Silver, who has a box of his things to return now that they're officially dunzo. What begins as an amicable exchange quickly devolves into a bitching, hateful discussion of how one never got to do what they wanted in deference to the other's preferences -- mainly Silver's. Storming off ensues.
Outside, Annie parks her car, then runs into a Starbucks-toting Teddy. He claims -- very insistently, I might add -- to know her, though he can't pinpoint where, exactly. Finally some jackass passes and takes a cell phone picture of her. Teddy realizes that she's the sexting girl. He tells her not to worry about any of it because people will move on soon enough. And then she walks to her locker. It has been spray painted with the word "SLUT" à la Sienna Miller. Liam approaches, looking slightly remorseful. She asks what he's staring at and tells him it's all his fault. Agree to disagree then!
Meanwhile, Silver is raging to Naomi and AAdrianna about Dixon when Annie walks up and goes off on Naomi. Naomi pretends she doesn't know what the problem is, but Annie lays it all out there, saying she personally apologized and begged Naomi not to send out the sext. Naomi continues to play dumb, and the other girls walk off with her.
Down the hall, AAdrianna finds Navid. He's sent her a text. He tells her he wants her to look at a piece he's working on. It starts fairly routinely, just like his disastrous interview with Teddy. And then, we see that, in the piece, Navid is interviewing Navid. He grills himself hard, asking why he was such an imbecile. Interviewee Navid claims that someone like AAdrianna, who is so far out of his league, would drive any man crazy and, thus, make him do crazy things. The meta-Navid shtick gets a little creepy at the end, but AAdrianna is touched nonetheless. They are officially made up.
Back out in the hallway, Annie scrubs her locker. Silver walks up and offers to help. She tries to explain to Annie the dizzying effect Liam has on Naomi, but Annie is beyond caring. She is on the warpath about Naomi sending out the sext, and she vows to prove that it was Naomi, come hell or high water. Bouncy credits.