Family Circus

90210

Episode Report Card

Lady Lola: D | Grade It Now!

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Family Circus

By Lady Lola | Season 1 | Episode 11 | Aired on 11.18.2008

In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Games, games… and the people who play them. Harry's bastard son Sean brings his A-game this week, arriving and throwing everyone for a loop -- particularly Dixon, who is in a full-blown existential crisis. Crazy Eyes showers Sean with fancy reservations and Watsu massages, all to no avail, so he moves into Casa Wilson. With the ball back in his court, though, it seems Sean's intentions may not be entirely honorable.

Naomi gets her Mean Girl on, scoring a reservation at Ozzy's father's hot spot restaurant and, with that, a place among West Bev's Plastics wannabes. As repayment, though, she has to jump through hoops for Ozzy. Remember him? He said he didn't like to play games. Don't know why, though, because, when he does, it's hot-hot-hot.

Not hot, however, is Annie's own stab at Regina George-ness. This diva-like behavior makes Ethan start to wonder why he liked this girl just as soon as he commits to her publicly. Silver finally puts things into perspective and makes Annie realize what a giant dill weed she's become -- and saves us from seeing Annie's hoo-ha while she's at it. Thank you, Silver! Annie covers up (in a mascot outfit, no less) and makes peace with being a homespun Kansan dork. Her wiggling around as Walter the Wildcat during West Bev's bid for the regional lacrosse championship reminds Ethan of the pentapus-loving girl he fell in like with.

Someone else in the cheering section might show Silver with some competition, though. One of the varsity rah-rah girls takes a liking to Dixon after they bond about being black at West Bev. I hope Silver remembers a thing or two about street fighting and shank crafting from her days in the shelter.

And in storylines that only remind us how much cooler things were in the good old days… Kelly espouses the values of friendship by giving Brenda a plant. Brenda returns this favor by telling Kelly she slept with Matthews. Yes, Kelly, friendship is like a plant. It probably would have helped if you'd told Brenda that a few weeks ago before she pissed all over it.

Which version of this show is more unrealistic? See what our vloggers have to say. Then come back on Thursday for our weecap of this episode.

Want more? The full recap starts right below!

Previously: Harry and Crazy Eyes "made" it a long, long time ago -- and they won't let us forget it! Matthews drove a wedge between Kelly and Brenda, then he drove his wedge in Brenda, if you know what I mean. Ozzy briefly made Naomi reconsider game playing... until she decided to royally eff up Annie's life and, even worse, her Super-Sweet 16. But that was just the beginning of the drama, because the khaki-uniformed byproduct of Harry and Crazy Eyes' teenage trysts showed up for a split-second and stunned the two brawling brats into sweet, sweet silence...

...which is right where pick up. Naomi breaks my moment of Zen by telling Sean she's his half-sister. Annie follows suit. Sean presumes they're sisters, to which they blurt out a horrified, synchronized "No!" Ethan, Dixon, and Silver spy from the window and see that the shouting match has ended, but they wonder who the military bohunk is. Elsewhere, Harry tries to stop Tabitha from digging into the cake. Debbie suggests she "eat a pig in a blanket." Tabby thinks this is Kansan for "Go screw yourself" and retaliates by swiping her finger through the cake and making a dramatic exit. As Harry and Debbie muse over Tabby's antics, Annie presents Sean, who foregoes the drama and introduces himself as the long-lost bastard that he is. Harry = speechless.

Later, Tabitha goes into her tap dance of lechery re: Sean. She notes that his nose is "definitely a Wilson nose, but a little less... how would you say... schnozzy." It's no "You could crush a mint on those abs," but even cougars have their off days. Sean begins ingratiating himself into the family as Harry stares at him with paternal curiosity. Debbie and Dixon lock eyes, and she gives him a knowing gaze over the disruption in their still-stabilizing life here in the Bev Niner.

Tabby asks about Sean's military career, making a crack that he's one of the "real Americans" that a certain VP candidate mentioned. He drawls that the military was a good way to see the world and pay for college. As he talks about Iraq, Naomi warily walks up and listens to him say that this place is a heckuva lot nicer than his unstable upbringing in South Carolina. He tells them a detective approached him recently and told him about his birth parents, so he decided to meet them before he shipped off for duty.

And speak of the devil, his bi-HO-logical mom prances into the room with her laser eyes set to high as she screams and swishes her side ponytail wildly. She and Sean hug, and she caterwauls, "Look at us! We're just one big happy family now. Isn't it great?" Credits.

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