Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B- | Grade It Now!
Summer Winners, Summer Losers

A la playa, the Triplets of Bev-ville are all dolled up for the party. Naomi is still reeling about Teddy and that AAdrianna tapped that before she did. AAdrianna gives her full permission for Naomi to slut it up with Teddy. Naomi politely declines and start ogling the rest of the "man meat" on display. Again with the meat? I was willing to forgive the played-out Herve Leger bandage dress she's wearing, but these poorly constructed, vomit-inducing metaphors are inexcusable. Nonetheless, she's got to get rid of an old piece of jerky before she can sink her teeth into something new. Yes, friends, I'm talking about Vienna-sausages-for-fingers Jason. Naomi spots him across the pool. As they eye each other, Silver gets a text message from Ethan.

Meanwhile, Dixon stop the car by the beach to let Annie talk. She starts in on her second-degree vehicular manslaughter confession, but Dixon interrupts her to say he knows that she slept with Liam and that she should just apologize. She becomes incredulous and defensive; shocked that he thinks she would do that. Of course, this is neither here nor there, simply a distraction to keep Annie from having any sort of actual character momentum. In any case, Dixon calls her out for not apologizing, even though she force him and countless others to spend their summer in school. She decides to abandon the confession and tells him to fuck off. He's all, "Backatcha, Brat-shlee Simpson."

Back at the beach club, Navid has set the wheels spinning on "Operation: Color Me Badd" (they did, after all, sing the title track on Sex Jams, Vol. 1). He strolls up to the bookings desk in full BMOC mode, slaps some skin with the guy at reception, and tries to casually rent a cabana for the evening. The guy's all, "Sure thing, bud, I just need your parents to sign for it." Rejected! Navid sticks his tail between his legs and mumbles a bit about the policy that you have to be over 18 to rent a cabana before he skitters away.

Outside, Dixon pulls up to the club with Annie still in tow and tells her that he's going to this party, so it's tough shit if she doesn't want to.

Back inside, Slim Jim digits tries to convince Naomi that adultery is what all the cool kids are doing. He feeds her all the typical lines about how special she is, blah, blah, blah. She almost goes for it until she sees Annie and gets the glint of revenge in her eyes. She stalks down Annie, who tries to tell her that she didn't have sex with Liam. Naomi doesn't buy it and tells her to get the hell out of her party. Annie mopes off, and the confrontation steels Naomi to say once and for all to Beef Jerk-y that she is "not a cheating skank," then storm off with fire in her eyes.

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