90210

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Summer Winners, Summer Losers

Meanwhile, Navid and Dixon provide some comic relief with a half-baked plot to swipe a cabana key from the reception desk. Of course it works. They head outside, and Dixon gives Navid a little pep talk: "You never forget your first time." Navid's swagger is knocked down a notch when he finds AAdrianna with her old pal Teddy. She mentions they went to summer camp together but conveniently leaves out the flinging. Navid doesn't linger long to chat, though, because he has a cabana to sexify.

Elsewhere, Dixon and Silver awkward it up some more on an "Are We or Aren't We?" walk. He starts to ask her whether she wants to get back together, but she stops him with a kiss. He reciprocates. And it's back on. As long as she deletes those text messages!

Somewhere else on the beach, Annie is leaving a frantic message for Dixon to at least give her the keys so she can sit in the car like the big, fat loser. A guy named Mark approaches and tries to strike up a conversation, despite her sour mug and generally hostile demeanor. She says she doesn't feel like talking, so he pulls out a flask and they settle on drinking themselves into a stupor. Because that worked out so well last time. Watch where you're jogging, Mark!

Later that night, the party has moved inside, and the kids are doing some sort of vulgar, undulating routine. I think this is that dance all the youngsters are doing that I've heard about. I couldn't really tell, though, because I had to avert my eyes as soon as Naomi's spindly body started gyrating like the skuzzier attachments to a handheld blender. Silver steps off the dance floor for a minute, and Teddy follows up like so many grains of sand in your underpants after a day at the beach. He says she left her phone outside, but doesn't give it back to her before teasing her about a text message from Ethan that reads, "I've decided to stay in Montana. The worst part is leaving U. I'm still thinking about that kiss!" Okay, they lost me at the exclamation point, but if I start quibbling now, we'll be here all night. Silver snatches back the phone and guiltily eyes Dixon before stomping off.

Outside, Navid and AAdrianna are getting hot and heavy. He suggests taking it somewhere more intimate, and she suggests they stop. She wonders how he's not on the same page. He wonders how she can go so long without sex. He tries to sweet talk her about how they've reached a level of emotional intimacy that should be mirrored physically, but she disagrees. She says she used to give it up too easy and that it always caused drama. She repeats the whole "No Drama AAdrianna" thing to him, and he consents to remain "No Sex Navid." She asks if he's not mad at her, and he assures her he's not. They hug, and he is so not happy with this little sexless arrangement. And, honestly, I would be too. AAdrianna is looking hot these days. Like Courteney Cox before she fucked up her face with the Botox.

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90210

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