Trick or treat, bitches. It's Halloween in the Bev Niner. Of course, the writers half-ass it (as always) and barely acknowledge the holiday -- save a few plot-propelling discussions about the Beach Club's annual party -- until the episode is nearly over. Aside from one big shocker at the :59 mark, it all adds up to the visual equivalent of scrounging through the half-opened, once-melted candy at the bottom of your pillowcase three months after Halloween. And an entire Halloween-themed hour sans Nicky Driscoll? Unacceptable.
Goobers: Annie and Kris Jr. get closer, despite pretty much everyone in the world telling her he's mondo creepy. She can only hear the mainstream hegemony talking, though, because she's, like, so on the margins now. She's all, "Damn you, preppies! Damn you and all your white-bread non-hobo-killin' values!" Ummmm, Annie. Remember how you're from frickin' Kansas? And the white-bread-iest person in the world? Easy to forget, I suppose. Especially when she's "borrowing" vintage Rolls Royces (seriously?) for joy rides to film a "scene" for Kris Jr.'s "movie." He actually sucks her into that crap with, "Remember, you're my muse, babe." God, this is embarrassing for everyone concerned.
Milk Duds: Thanks to Jackie's need for constant care, Silver struggles to keep her head above water school-wise. In particular, she flakes out on a group project with Teddy. To prove that he's not a total arse, he covers for her to the detriment of his own grade. He later finds out how Jackie is dragging Silver down and finds her to bond and give her comfort since his mom conveniencidentally died, too. Apparently comfort in Teddy's world = lobbing balls off of roof tops. Whatever floats your boat, boss.
Airheads: Harry continues to (sub?)consciously cater to Kelly's crush on him. This leaves Debbie on the shit end of the stick. She's still harboring ill feelings for his Freudian slip last week when he blows off a lunch date with her to comfort Kelly. That night, Debbie blows up at him, forcefully pointing out Kelly's feelings. He calls Kelly to disprove Debbie's suspicion, but her uncomfortable response makes it clear Debbie was right-on.
100 Grand: Naomi actually shows some class for five seconds when she realizes that her blossoming feelings for UC's BMOC could be the real deal. She breaks it off with EnviroTutor, to the detriment of her chances of getting into her dream college. I suspect securing her admission now will cost a family donation of about as much as this paragraph's title.
Sour Patch Kids: Liam meets his match in a female surfer named Ivy. He cuts her off in competition, so she fakes cramps to get ahead. They settle it with a surf battle. Wake me when one or more of their arms is bitten off by a Great White.
Baby Ruth? Dixon realizes that dating DJ Hottie on the DL is cutting into his social life, so he dumps her. He seems to get off unscathed until she comes to the Beach Club to tell him her Halloween costume next year will be "Single Mom." Dixon knocked a bitch up!
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Previously: Silver, with loyalty to her sister/guardian and cancer-stricken mother, was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Dixon took three tries and two utterly implausible professions to land himself in a relationship with an older woman. Naomi began a love triangle with the crunchy tutor who can get her into California University and the jock she hopes to date when she gets there. And Debbie decided three was a crowd when Harry accidentally called her Kelly's name after a drunken boys' night out.
Beach. Liam catches a few waves before school. As he backs out of his parking space, a beachy-haired girl in an SUV back right up on him. Well, his car. She's bummed about popping a fin on her surfboard. He's pissed that she smashed his passenger side door. They squabble back and forth, an immediate sign that she'll be hanging ten in these parts for a while to come.
CalU. Naomi settles in for what will surely be an uncomfortable date night with EnviroTutor. While he debates over which hippie-dippy Earth movie they should watch, she turns the subject to his mother, the Dean of Admissions and Naomi's ticket to matriculation. Naomi starts to vie for some face time with her, but ET's roommate, the jockish BMOC walks in. ET says some petty environmentalist shit about how much of the bill BMOC is responsible for -- and how it's not the money but his debt to the planet that he should be worried about. BMOC couldn't care less. He invites them (really just Naomi, I'm guessing) to a sorority party (the sorority Naomi hopes to join next Fall, specifically), but ET rejects the invitation for both of them. As BMOC heads off to shower, ET scoffs, "How oblivious is that guy? He takes, like, two showers a day. Doesn't he know we're living in a desert?" Naomi's reply? "Duh, people who shower a lot are so gross!" ET: "God, you're great." Ha! Naomi returns to the subject of ET's mom. He shuts that topic down and turns on the movie. Naomi consoles herself with a lingering glance with BMOC as he walks by, in only a towel, on his way to the showers.
DJ Hottie's digs. She asks what Dixon wants to order in. He grimaces at the thought of having another delivery date and hopefully suggests they could go out. She reminds him that there's this whole law against statutory rape. He says he doesn't want their entire relationship to take place in her apartment, and she counters that she certainly can't come to his house since he lives with his parents: "And I am not sneaking in the window, Katie Holmes-style." Wow, she really just went there. I officially know that these writers are at least my age or older. They really need some fresh blood in this place. To wit, DJ Hottie has to explain the reference to him because he is too young to have seen it. She tells Dixon to suck it up and pick something while she gets changed for work.
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