90210

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Lady Lola: B | Grade It Now!
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The Big Bang Theory

Previously on Beverly Hills 9021-Dear-God-Please-Give-These-Girls-A-Sandwich!: The Wilson clan took the Bev Niner by storm. Dixon enchanted fellow outsider Silver with his mysterious (read: adopted and black) charm. With only a paint brush and a dream, Annie weaseled her way into the school's production of Spring Awakening. This, of course, miffed aspiring actress, thief, druggie, and also-ran Adrianna. Yadda, yadda, yadda, Naomi, Ethan, and Ty also live here. Snooze.

I have a dream that one day (today, specifically), this show will stop hammering "Mama Who Bore Me (Reprise)" into the ground. And that dream has become reality! The show opens with what appears to be Annie and Ty doing the capital-N nasty, but anyone who's seen Spring Awakening knows it's only a scene, and a sexy one at that. Not sure how Annie went from suddenly-in-the-chorus to marquee-level star of this (shit)show, but she is indeed now playing Wendla, the Deflowered. Maybe that was Lucille's one stipulation upon leaving the helm.

Director Brenda stops the sultry scene to make stage manager Silver quit checking her "vlog" and start paying attention to rehearsal. And, let's be honest, I wouldn't be watching, either. I kind of wish I wasn't right now... Brenda thinks Silver has dropped the ball because the lights are still at high beam even though the characters are almost in flagrante. Brenda wants the light to go down softly during the couple's first time. That's not exactly how it happened all those Spring Dances ago, and I, for one, think Brenda is living vicariously through these poor kids. I wouldn't be surprised if Wendla ends up in full-length gloves and a black dress with massive white bows on it. Just sayin'...

Brenda calls a dinner break, then more rehearsal. The show is tomorrow, she reveals, yet they're not having a full-on dress rehearsal. That ain't good. Nonetheless, Brenda sticks to her delusional guns that the show is brilliant. She compliments her cast for "putting the pros to shame." She even promises to personally kick audience members' asses if they don't give the production a Standing O. And you better believe she means it. Girl's still got some fight in her.

As the cast disperses, Brenda thanks Annie for understudying Adrianna. What's that I hear? Another ridiculously obvious plot development, you say? Also? What kind of director puts up with a star who can't be bothered to show up for non-dress rehearsal the night before the show opens? Anyhow, Annie meets up with Ty and they decide to extend the scene, so to speak, and forego their dinner break.

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90210

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