True Blood
Authority Always Wins

Episode Report Card
admin: A+ | 2 USERS: B+
The New Shape Of Myself
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!


The Reverend Steven Newlin maybe had an agenda or maybe just went crazy after he came out as a gay vampire; Jason loves Jessica and she might be in love with him, but much like Hoyt she is still very unsettled by the whole thing. Bill and Eric have been kidnapped by the Authority several times at this point; they've been joined in custody by Eric's sister/lover Nora, who is a real piece of work. Terry's house may have burned down because of something magical having to do with Scott Foley and/or Iraq. Sam did his best to get murdered by Alcide's Pack, but in the end he was saved from his own stupidity by Luna, and they all watched the Pack eat Marcus's body and it was gross. Russell Edgington is at large and coming after Sookie, who dumped every one of her boyfriends before being attacked by her formerly living BFF Tara, who's been turned into a vampire by Pam in return for future favors, at Lafayette's firm request.


Tara: "Nom! Nom!"
Sookie: "Oh no, a vampire!"
Lafayette, verbatim: "Tara! That is Sookie, you is killing her!"

Pam finally swings into action after a few minutes of laughter at this whole goat rodeo, and chokes Tara out for awhile before ordering her, Makerwise, to stop eating her friends and relatives. She shoves Tara into the house, tells her to stay there, and takes off. Presumably to find Eric so she can laugh some more.

Frankly, though, she shoulda stuck around: Nothing funnier than watching Tara's vamp-zooming, careening, headbutting free-for-all inside the house. Lafayette and Sookie stare, the humor lost on them for now. And, of course, the irony: Watching Tara crashing into walls at top speed no matter how much it hurts her is pretty much a supercut of her entire pre-death storyline over the past four years.


Vampire and presumably Biblical Salome, who seems to be the new Darth Vader of things, welcomes Nora -- who's under arrest, remember, along with the boys -- back home. Maybe they are lovers? That would be so Nora.

Salome: "Dahlink."
Nora: "Sorry about kidnapping the King and Sherriff during their kidnapping! But don't think of it as treason!"
Salome: "I do think of it as treason. Also, Eric is really tall."
Eric: "Not to mention snotty."
Nora: "Back to me!"
Salome: "Nah."

All three prisoners are hustled through the building, which is I guess in New Orleans, to wherever bad vampires are taken.

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True Blood




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