The Office
Cocktails

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Cocktails

Michael's in a straitjacket. About fucking time. Oh, I see, he's getting ready to do a magic trick. He THs about magic being not just for kids, but for anyone with a little extra time after school. Cut to Michael rising "dramatically" from behind the reception desk, whispering "Magic magic magic magic" and festooned with chains over the straitjacket. Talking with a lisp that's obviously caused by whatever's stashed inside his mouth (hmm, what could it be? A pinch of Skoal? A giant epithelioma?), Michael introduces himself as "Michael the Magic" and asks everyone how he can escape from "extreme bondage." Michael starts to count down, but before he can get very far, Jim just confirms that Michael doesn't want anyone to help him if he gets stuck. "No matter how much you might beg and plead?" Pam asks. Michael gets started. He begins by turning his back to everyone, shaking and grunting fakely, but since he's still facing the camera, we can clearly see when he extrudes a key from between his teeth. We can also see when he drops it on the floor. Jim wordlessly sticks his foot out, hiding the key under his shoe and looking at us with that Ain't I a stinker? look he's got so perfected. Michael gives up on the key, but keeps up the act, writhing around and bellowing until he eventually ends up in his office, lying on the floor and drawing the blinds with his feet. From behind his desk, still bound and with his hair in disarray, Michael promises to escape using magic, at some point, in some fashion which he can't yet reveal. "Separately, on an unrelated note, if you happen to find a small brass key..."

Dwight and Michael are headed out, and when Pam refuses to smell Michael's breath, Dwight is only too happy to take a mighty whiff. "Good not great," he pronounces. From his office, Michael explains that the CFO is having a party at his house that night, and it's his and Jan's first public appearance as a couple. By the way, Michael looks quite snazzy in a red shirt and tie under his suit. Out in the bullpen, Michael tries to get Jim to carpool with him and Dwight. Jim declines, even under a withering flurry of "tantalizing" offers from Michael regarding road trip activities like "I spy." Jim THs about why he doesn't want to go at all. "I don't know any of these people. It's an obligation. I don't like talking paper in my free time (or in my work time). And did I use the word 'pointless'?"

Michael and Dwight are in the car together, and Michael is starting to realize that maybe Dwight shouldn't be coming, as a non-manager. Before he can explore that further, Jan calls, suggesting they blow off the party. "Am I on speakerphone?" she asks, too late, as if she's ever not. Her follow-up question is whether anyone else is -- "Hiii, Jaaan!" Dwight sings out. Michael picks up the handset, but the speaker is still on as Jan says something inappropriate about ripping into each other in a motel room. "Am I still on speaker?" she asks, again, and again too late. Michael...doesn't know. "Talk to you later, Jaaan!" Dwight sings out as they hang up.

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The Office

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